An Underwhelming Experience

First of all:

Last night, I finally had the chance to see something I’ve want to for much of my life. And I can sincerely say I wish I was still yearning.

My boyfriend offered to take me to see the ball drop in Times Square. He knows I’ve always wanted to see it, and he had never seen it in person either. Yes, I knew it’d be freezing, but I wanted to see it just once in my life. We dressed in mulitple layers (though I foolishly wore a single pair of socks) and waited for three hours to see… a tiny ball slowly slide down a pole and a repetitive pattern of fireworks.

We will never do that again.

I was unaware until the ball dropped, people had to stand around, crowded together and with no provided entertainment. “Bored” is not accurate enough to describe how I felt while waiting. To be completely honest, it still felt like watching television. There were only a handful of fireworks before, I guess as a sort of tease, and all the confetti was on far opposite side of us. Definitely could’ve stayed home for that.

I suppose I could say I’m happy for the experience because I now know what it is, but it was hilariously bad and I regret going. For 2018’s New Year’s Eve, we will definitely stay indoors, snuggled together in bed and watching live footage on YouTube.

I am a crazy person…

As much as I want to attend school in New York, it seems that may not be feasible. Being out-of-state is making housing rather complicated and I’m trying to keep things as simple as possible. Not because I’m lazy, but because 1) I don’t have forever and 2) I don’t have many choices anyway. There are seven different campuses for this college (I think), but only two have what I want to study. One is in-state. The other is in NY. I’m thinking of attending the one in my state.

Here’s the thing: The one that’s in my state is two hours away. If not for having the train, I’d need three or four buses to get there. But the area it’s in is rather beautiful. It’s a small town and it doesn’t have much, but it does happen to be near two malls, both bigger than my local one, and one of the malls being the biggest in my state! What can I say? I love shopping and that includes window-shopping! And it’s surrounding towns do have much, including my favorite seafood restaurant and a particular clothing store I’ve been wanting to check out, but haven’t gotten the chance to yet.

But I still want to be in NY. However, since attending school isn’t likely, I want to work there instead. However, this would be another two-hour commute. Fortunately, the commute back home would only be forty-five minutes, but that still is a lot of transportation. Not to mention that it’s public transport, until I can get a car anyway.

I’m willing to take a two-hour commute to school, a second two-hour commute to a part-time job and finally, a 45-minute commute to return home. That’s about five hours of commuting in total. In a week, that’s about ten hours if I attend school twice a week and fifteen hours if I attend school three times a week. All because I want something. I don’t need to do this, but I have this desire so badly and I can’t ignore it.

Yes, I. Am. Crazy!

I Will Do Anything

On Saturday, I went up to the college I want to attend. Not in New York. I went to a closer campus. I got some disheartening news.

The only way I can afford housing is with loans and that’s only after my tuition is covered, meaning I can only have housing if there is enough money left over.

That saddens me because it means I might be forced to stay here and I really do not want to. Besides the irritation with my grandfather, if I don’t leave in September, there’s a possibility I never will because I swear my grandfather is trying to keep me “his baby” for the rest of my life.

If I have to work two jobs to be able to afford housing, I will. I will do anything to get me out of this house in September 2013. Well, anything except prostitute. That’s where I draw the line.

There was a little bit of good news. One of the financial aid packages is based on my GPA. I think that means I can get more money if my grades are high, assuming it’s based on the GPA of my senior year. So if I study hard and keep my grades high, I might have a chance. I just need to keep myself upbeat and motivated.

In January, I’m going to visit the New York campus and speak to them. I’m going to express my concerns to them. Hopefully, they’ll give me some good news. Until then, I’ll just hope for the best and keep my head held high. I think I’m already on a good track with saving up money and I might try to obtain my license before I leave.

The only thing I’m truly scared of is that I have to take my grandfather to the in-state location I went for him to sign the forms. I wasn’t going to tell him until everything was done, but I guess he’ll know early. I’m worried about how he’ll take it, which probably just emphasizes how much I really need to get out of here.

Sorry, I Want Out

No, not the blog. I’m not leaving the blog. I want out of my house.

When it came time for me to attend college, I originally planned to continue living at home. I didn’t want to live on campus because I had enough of living with people and I hate moving. I didn’t want to move out until I had my own apartment.

Recently, however, I’ve changed my mind. I’m losing my patience and I don’t think I can hold out until I’m 22. I know I have my mom, but I really don’t want to live in a dangerous area of town. The only problem is my grandfather treating me like a child. He simply refuses to acknowledge that I’m not a “baby” anymore and the only thing I’m too young for is alcohol and parenting. I know some people have much worse problems with their families, but I’ve just had enough.

I won’t say what college I want to attend, but the campus is located in in New York City, midtown-Manhattan. I don’t live in the state of New York, but it’s literally a train ride away or two hours by car. I could come back here everyday if I wanted to.

My only concern is the extra expense. I was going to live at home to cut down on expenses, but I’m willing to take it if I can leave home. Besides, it will be good practice. I’ll be entirely on my own and responsible for myself. When I finally get my own apartment, I’ll already be used to taking care of myself. If I budget well, I probably won’t have too much debt on my hands. Plus, I might be able to find a job near campus and that will be a big help. More stress, but a big help. Who said supporting yourself was easy?

Anonymous No More

It looks like New York doesn’t have much respect for the privacy of its citizens. Or at least, Senator Thomas F. O’Mara doesn’t.

Sen. O’Mara wants to pass a bill that would forbid internet users in New York from being anonymous when posting online. To sum it all up, the bill would require that any anonymous post online is subject to (read: must be) removal if the poster refuses to post and verify their legal name, IP addresses and current home address. Stalkers, you may come out of hiding now.

There are so many things obviously wrong with this proposal that I don’t even feel it’s necessary to say them. But I must point out one thing that irked me from the article:

Anonymity is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, the United States was founded, in part, thanks to Thomas Paine’s anonymously written, pro-revolution pamphlet Common Sense. On the other hand, 12-year-olds who post anonymously on the internet can be rather unpleasant and cause real problems by cyberbullying. Whether you think the good outweighs the bad, this news is troubling indeed: A far-reaching bill introduced in the New York State Senate could end the practice of posting online once and for all.

The part that annoys me is highlighted in bold. This has nothing to do with bullying, whatsoever. Yes, it’s true that immature teens and preteens do abuse (what should be) their internet privileges, but that’s the fault of the parents who allow them online without monitoring with they do, not the government for not passing such a law sooner. In my opinion, if a kid can’t be trusted to use the internet responsibly, they shouldn’t be allowed to use it until they’re 18 or older anyway (I’ve been using the internet alone since I was 10, but I knew better). However, that’s a topic for another time.

The point is this bill is not only intrusive, but also poses a threat to all internet users. When I read the article at first, it sounded like the choice was up to website administrators, but that is not the case. They must remove the comment upon requested and since there are jerks and trolls online, it will happen. I consider the danger of a 12-year-old being stalked and kidnapped a much greater risk than an immature 12-year-old creating nasty comments and emails.

This is why we don’t give idiots too much power. Or power at all.

Sources:

Yahoo: New York Senate bill seeks to end anonymous internet posting
Geekosystem: Ludicrous Bill In New York State Senate Endeavors To End All Anonymous Posting On The Internet
Tecca, original source: New York Senate bill seeks to end anonymous internet posting