Hello Again, Java

April 9, 2023 — Kaye

The day I learn to stop swearing on (or off) things will probably never come.

In contradiction to my last post, it seems Java will remain high on my study list. Why? A new part added to my “about me” answers that:

and will begin a bachelor’s in software engineering/development in September 2023.

Annoyingly, I can’t recall exactly what led to this decision, which happens with a lot of my decisions. And relationships, both platonic and romantic.

I expressed I was no longer interested in my job’s software development program due to its delay and my preference for my current boot camp. However, I did not state I have no interest in any similar program. Merely my job’s because of the lack of news regarding it.

A benefit of my job is they partner with several schools. Long story short, I discovered one where, after the budget fir the year is exhausted, any remaining classes taken are entirely free, even if they are extra courses unnecessary to graduate. In short, a free degree.

Or it would be if I had patience. My current boot camp maxed out my budget, so I need to wait until January 2024 to be able to enroll without paying a dime (unless you count the costs for transferring transcripts). However, being a student excuses an employee from peak season, which I hate with a passion for reasons I feel I don’t need to explain. Not to mention the job on its own is nothing short of mindless and soul sucking. There’s a reason I feel like it’s an adjustment to need to use my brain when it comes to anything outside of my job. However, the cost of a single semester is an amount I could put on one of my credit cards. I won’t do that, but you get the point.

As for Java specifically, the college allows students to pursue two different tracks for the program: Java and C#. Since I was already introduced to Java from studying for my job’s program, I decided I’ll follow the Java track. It also simply seems to align more with what I care about. To quote from the college’s page:

  • C# is a smart choice for those who want to work in big tech centers, like Seattle, Silicon Valley, Boston, or New York. Large enterprises that use Microsoft infrastructure need developers who are fluent in C#.
  • Java is an extensively used language, supported by a wide range of devices—not only computers and phones but also smart appliances and Internet-connected vehicles.

While I’d probably work in New York, that’s more because I live right next to it. It’s literally a single train or bus away. Staten Island in particular is a twenty minute drive without traffic from New Jersey, where I live. In other words, I have no actual desire to work for a huge company or a tech-centered city. It’s just convenient I live near one. Thus, learning C# is more of a bonus for me than a necessity.

Unfortunately, I have received a lot of push back against pursing this degree, and I’ll make a separate post for that. However, since one of the benefits (for most people) of aging is no longer giving two cents about what people think of you – not to mention I never asked for opinions to begin with – I’m not deterred in the slightest. If anything, I’m more excited about it, especially talking to students who are already pursuing it and those who have completed it.

I also may need a bigger bookcase. No, I will not switch to an e-reader! Call me old if you want.

Photo of a shelf of reference books for coding

Yes, I am quite the fan of the For Dummies series.

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Not Old (Yet), Not Young

August 15, 2022 — Kaye

I’m 28. Maybe that isn’t old, but it certainly isn’t young either. Really, I stopped being honest about my age offline after I turned 26.

I talked a little before about teaching myself coding. The good news is there are a lot of community spaces for learners and newbies. The discouraging news is I find myself very outmatched in age. It seems in so many, if not all, of these spaces, everyone started coding at the age I was still carrying around a teddy bear.

Yes, yes, I know. “You’re never too old.” But figures of speech are just that. Figures of speech. I can never stop being reminded I wasted my youthful years doing… whatever I was doing that is wildly insignificant now. If God is real, when I die, I will ask why he didn’t give me better intuition as a small child. Seriously, why did I miss out on the intuition to build a necessary skill? Probably because I was stupid and wanted to build blocks, and adults let me so I would shut up and stop crying. *sigh*

Eh. Maybe that’s harsh (probably not), but if I had a child, I would absolutely get them started on coding and programming at as early an age as possible so they avoid this problem. Even if they grew to not want a career related to IT, they’d have a skill they can fall back on. That’s the one thing I miss about not having a child. I won’t have the pleasure of watching my child have a better and brighter future than I do. Granted, I’m fantasizing, but I know I do that a lot. I’m beginning to understand why some parents live through their kids. It’s tough to admit you don’t have the capacity/capability to reach your dreams, and your kid has better chances than you via youth. That’s a terrible thing to do to a kid, but I think I understand it.

Truthfully, I don’t think I am capable of learning because coding is such a humongous field, and IT never stops evolving. There will always be things to catch up on, so I have no idea at what point I could consider myself employable, if that point can arrive. Supposedly, it’s not about memorization, but I want to see how that holds up in an actual job. I feel like it doesn’t. But I’ve also known for a long time I’m not good at anything, so why am I talking like this is surprising? It’s not, but you get my drift. I mean, I’m good at finishing coursework, but so are kindergartners, so who cares? I want a skill most tiny children don’t have, not one most do.

Well, this quickly delved into a post of self-loathing. But it’s really honesty and trying to humor myself. I remember being asked what’s unique about me, and I answered I don’t know because I don’t know. Professionally, there is nothing unique about me. I work in a warehouse, I worked in retail, and I finished coursework. By the way, roughly 39% of the US population has a bachelor’s (not associate’s, which is what mine will be) degree, and it can still not be enough to qualify for anything. It really is little more than a piece of paper to bypass filters. Part of me feels like I’m getting it solely to prove I’m not a total idiot (of course, the two are not mutually exclusive).

Do I have any positivity to add to this post? I really don’t. I’m painfully aware my thirtieth birthday is coming sooner than I would like, and I’m simply glad there is no upcoming high school reunion.

Well, I can always achieve my dreams through fictitious means. And really, my only dream was financial stability. I didn’t even reach for the sky and I still fell flat. Ouch.

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A Degree’s Value

June 16, 2022 — Kaye

“No one told you to return to college.”

This statement comes from my mom when I make the mistake of of venting about my frustration of paying for college out of pocket.

When I remind her she, and the rest of the family, nagged me relentlessly about college when I was in high school, she retorts, “You were a teenager!”

I feel this sums up the mentality surrounding college in a nutshell. If nothing else, it proves many people who relentlessly push college, like my mom, do so only because it’s “the next step”. Not because they have any understanding, not because they know what it entails, not because they think the cost is worth it, but solely because “it’s what you’re supposed to do”.

But the super irritating part for me is this statement makes my mom a hypocrite. She returned to college beyond her teens. She attended college when I was fifteen years old, putting her in her late thirties. However, nothing came of that experience and the college shut down some years later. Supposedly, the college was not consider legitimate. I don’t know for certain if that’s the case, but I know my mom did not research colleges beforehand (she never researches anything) and she’s technologically illiterate in general, so I wouldn’t be surprised if this was the case.

A few nights ago, three friends and I had a night out together. We talked, played pool, and ate at a restaurant (with unpleasantly loud music). Something I found interesting is we all had degrees – or, in my case, in the process of getting a degree – but none of us were in our fields.

  • Friend #1 has a degree in criminal justice, and works in recruiting for a major company (unrelated to police or security).
  • Friend #2 has a degree in early childhood education and works as a security guard (albeit in a high school, so he still works with kids).
  • Friend #3 has a degree in liberal studies and works as a cashier at our local mall.
  • I am completing a degree in information technology management, and I want to be a designer.

I commented I was the last to have a degree, and one friend said, “At least, you’re getting it.”

Despite none of them use their degrees beyond the sake of getting their resumes past the filters – and that will likely be the case for mine as well – they were all content with their careers and expressed no regret for their degrees. I share this sentiment about getting my degree. I don’t like the debt, but I enjoy the experience and am eager for December.

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Expectations

November 3, 2021 — Kaye
An excerpt from a passage about educators’ expectations for students, preceded by “Educators expect students to display a passion for learning.”

I think educators need to set their expectations to reality.

This is akin to expecting a passionate answer for why you want to work a minimum wage job. I’d argue it’s worse. At least, you’re paid for the time you invest in that job. College is the other way around. You pay them to invest your time. Not to mention grades are what determine whether or not you pass the class, not passion.

Perhaps if “general ed” weren’t a requirement, educators would see more students with a passion for learning because said students won’t have to get the course over with to get to the courses they have interest in.

I hate essays. I hate being told what to write about and what formats to use. I hate having to pad out papers for the sake of fulfilling the requirements. The fluff has proven to be more irritating than much else. The fact that almost no one would participate in discussion if it weren’t a requirement should say something.

What I hate most is needing to pretend I have something nice to say when I don’t. No, this essay about songbirds doesn’t make me want to learn about songbirds. It’s too long, nearly put me to sleep, and I’m relieved it’s over. No, I don’t want to tell you where I’m taking my classes from. These classes are online and my location is not your concern. I don’t care you like roller coasters and you don’t care I eat too many sweets.

The essay I completed is not due for two weeks, but I did it on the first day because I wanted to get to the point. And the point was “complete this assignment”. I didn’t turn it in, but I completed it. Now, I wait. In the meantime, I’m still trying to come up with a sugary, fluffy introduction for the discussion boards. As this post may suggest, I am only good with the sugar that goes in my mouth. Faking sweetness? Not so much.

There are classes I’m interested in required for my degree, but “English” and “First Year Experience” aren’t on that list. I would prefer Spanish and a class about finances. Unfortunately, not options at the moment, so I’m doing what I need to do to get to them.

On the upside, it seems these classes are providing sufficient material for my blog. I can’t remember the last time I did back-to-back posts.

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Time For School!

November 2, 2021 — Kaye

Yesterday was my first day of returning to school. I now remember why I never liked English or “general ed” classes. I can’t think of anywhere else there is so much fluff and fakery. I think I’d be willing to pay more in tuition if everyone would get the point and I didn’t need to read five paragraphs of fluff to care about what the heck you’re talking about!

I realize the irony of this when I keep a blog. But my blog isn’t mandatory. It’s something I keep for my feelings. Since any response less stuffed than my teddy bears isn’t acceptable, I’m putting my real answers to the intro questions here. I’ll fake something for the teachers later.

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