Keepsakes

When I was a toddler, I had two very favorite items: a teddy bear I called “Kathy”, and a blanket I outgrew in size before kindergarten.

At night, I clung to these items. I remember taking “Kathy” to school, keeping her in my backpack, taking her to summer camp, and even taking her to middle school on one occasion.

My bear and my blanket were old. They were kept clean, but obviously worn and on the receiving end of a lot of love. So, what happened to my childhood treasures.

My blanket was lost first. I still remember its pattern. Fully red one side, the side my mother wrote my name on, and a red and white plaid texture on the side with a rainbow patch in the center. In proving one of the many disadvantages of being the older sibling – and one of my reasons for despising the role – my mom had me give my blanket to my sister for naptime in kindergarten. It was intended to be only for the year. However, anyone who’s ever had a five-year-old can tell you they’re not responsible with things that don’t belong to them.

At the end of the year, my sister left my treasured blanket behind and it was donated. I don’t remember my reaction, but I can’t imagine it was anything less than angry crying, especially because that was the very reason I didn’t want to give my sister my blanket. But “you’re the big sister, you’re supposed to be nice to your sister and set an example”. How about don’t have more than one child if you don’t want to be a role model? My beloved blanket was never replaced. Not that it could be, but she could’ve tried.

As a result of losing my blanket, I clung to “Kathy” more than ever. But sadly, she too was lost and I never learned how.

We moved many times during my childhood. We moved to a new home every year, and to a new city every time I graduated from a school. The last city move was in between school years, which shattered me because I no longer had even that small amount of security. Sadly, this is the move where my loved teddy bear vanished. We had to move all of our belongings to storage for a period of time. I don’t know if Kathy never made it to the storage unit or never made it out, but when we retrieved our things, she was nowhere to be found. Since I was a teenager, I didn’t cry angrily and stomp, but I was heartbroken. On the surface, it’s not a big deal, but it was that one last straw that topped an insurmountable pile of them.

As an adult, I discovered I grew to be somewhat of a hoarder. While I can throw things away, it’s a very difficult task if the item is something I cared about, no matter how long ago. I have no doubt losing my childhood keepsakes planted the seeds for that. It’s not something that affects my daily life, so I see no need for professional intervention, but when I remember my childhood, I still miss my bear and blanket a little. My childhood overall is not one I would repeat, and those treasures were some of the light I had at that time. I have several stuffed toys and bed blankets now, but none of them return the childhood feeling.

Intermittent Goals

I can’t think of a better name for goals you make in the middle of the year.

Recently, the thought occurred to me I likely meet so few of my goals because I overwhelm myself with them or get stupidly excited. Hence why I skated only once since buying skates for myself. That, and skate rinks have really weird hours.

I want to try setting some not-so-pressured goals for myself and see where that goes. Since this blog needs activity anyway, why not here?

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Too Much Credit

Me in 2018: How do people get in over their heads with credit card debt?

Once again, I need to stop talking! Then again, this blog is quiet as of late, so I suppose I have.

Constant advice I received about credit cards is “use it like a debit card”. Four years later, I’m paying off $10,000 worth of credit card debt. Why I took advice from the internet is beyond me.

When I wrote that article in 2018, my total limit between cards amounted to $2,700. One card had its limit decreased, but my total credit limit is now $9,810. My score currently sits at 620. One of my relatives with dozens of late payments has a higher score than me!

This year, I paid off two of my four student loans, and two of my credit accounts, although I’m paying one off again because I used it when my car broke down. Thankfully, I learned to budget like a maniac, and so long as nothing urgent happens again, I can get that balance paid off in two weeks.

My real debit card gets much more use these days, so much so that the chip is wearing down and it’ll likely need to be replaced before its expiration date in four years. I plan to keep my credit cards for emergencies only. A response I’ve gotten is I’m missing out on “tons of rewards”. Ignoring only two of my cards offer anything, and cashback turned out to be dreadfully disappointing, pursuing “rewards” is how I got myself into so much debt. Now, my reward is getting rid of it.

27 On The 27th

Today, I turn 27 on April 27th. It’s not really a happy birthday because lockdown and all, but I have the day off work and that’s always nice. I’ve read when your age matches the date, it’s called a “golden birthday” or “royal birthday”. Cute, but nothing special to do today.

Still, I love my birthday. As unoriginal as it may be, it is mine. Millions of other people’s too, but I’m one of them.

“What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?”

At seven years old: A veterinarian! (Yes, I could really pronounce that as a small kid.)

At sixteen years old: An artist.

At nineteen years old: An animator.

At twenty years old: A paid blogger?

At twenty-one years old: A livestream gamer?

At twenty-six years old: I have no idea.

My 27th birthday arrives this year. Is it too late?