I saw my therapist in school this past Thursday. I didn’t really have much to talk about. Besides the finals, there was nothing going on and I didn’t feel like talking about finals anyway. She did try to convince me to join the summer program, but I declined. It’s not that I don’t want to see her. It’s just I’ve lost interest in “summer camp” and even though each day would only be 10 AM to 2 PM, the kind of activities they apparently have don’t really appeal. If she keeps bugging me, however, I might give in.
I have to wonder if she was a little under the weather because she was a little…snippy.
First, I asked her, for no real reason, if a blood clot could kill you. She said it could. But, for some reason, added on, “Or you could go into a coma and have other people wiping your a** for you!” BAD!! That was NOT an image I needed in my head! Why she chose to add this nasty detail is beyond me, but I’d rather not ask. Like I did the question that initiated this response.
But the real “snippiness” began with a song I played on YouTube on my (school-issued) iPad. Since we weren’t really talking about anything, I figured it would be okay. The song I played was Grenade, a version sung by Ariana Grande (who also plays a role in one of my favorite shows). I was listening to a lyric video. Basically, the song is about how the singer would harm herself and die to protect her lover, despite that he wouldn’t do the same for her and is abusive toward her.
I regret playing that in her office so much! My therapist practically went on a rant about how ridiculous the song was! She even went so far as to insult Ariana, who hadn’t even written the song! Since her last name is Grande, my therapist asked me if I knew what that meant. I told her I did (Grande means “big”) and also pointed out that “Ariana” means “gift from God”, meaning her name meant “big gift from God”. My therapist decided no. Ariana’s name meant “big retard”. No matter how many times I exclaimed “It’s just a song”, she didn’t seem to get it. So I finally just played another song called Generation Love (sung by Jennette McCurdy), which was about helping society and loving each other. Fortunately, my therapist approved.
I suppose she does have a point about the song. It is rather over-the-top and, as she pointed out, does the give the impression that the singer is suicidal. But still, it’s just a song! Many songs are over-the-top and Grenade is not the worst I’ve heard. Far from it.
If there is one thing I learned from that particular appointment, it’s that my therapist, though not her “default” personality, can be quite the judgmental b/witch. Perhaps she was joking, perhaps she was not, but I think I’ll be more careful about any music I play in her office from now on.