Pressure May Vary

More often than not, I feel like things that surprise me really shouldn’t. In my defense, I have good reason for expecting the worst.

It turns out instead of taking the exam as soon as we can, our teacher recommends we not take it until we finish our last class unless we feel confident we can take it right now. Yes, instead of shouting “believe in yourself” over and over, a real teacher told us not to rush and wait until we feel we’re ready for it. We don’t have to read the entire textbook. He suggests we do because it can only help, but it won’t be a tragedy if we skip over something we already have a good grasp on, like half a chapter about how to create, move, and rename files. I don’t need a detailed how-to guide on something I’ve been doing since my age was in the single digits.

In short, a lot of the pressure I was felt was self-induced. Granted, like my cynicism, there’s reason for that, but it seems like I continually struggle to remember I don’t have to learn the same way everyone else does. I can study in the way the works best for me and go at my own pace. Even MLP had an (surprisingly good) episode about that. I don’t try to be different, but I think trying to be the same is part of what causes me these problems to begin with.

I’ve begun playing around with some practice tests. The site I used allows the user to customize the test instead of take it with every question about every topic thrown together. To my ridiculous surprise, I did well when I tested against things I read about and I can now study what I’m struggling with that wasn’t yet covered in my classes so far, or wasn’t covered much. I also managed to answer 20 to 25 questions in 7 minutes without knowing the answer to all of them. Maybe 90 questions in 90 minutes isn’t so intimidating.

I’ll eat my words later, but for now, it’s nice to feel less pressured about everything.


Things To Do During My Gap Year

Two weeks ago, I posted about my plan to postpone college until 2014. I listed a few reasons and my mother is in agreement with the idea, so it seems I’m set.

I already know what I want to do during my gap year. I think I may create a page at the end of the school year and cross things off as I get them done to ensure I do everything I want.

  • Find a job – This is the most important. Right now, I’m only looking for part-time, but since I’ll likely only be attending classes two or three days a week, I may look for full-time on weekends. I need money for various things. Tuition deposit, my license, public transport. If I have to work in another town, I will.
  • Get medical attention – I explained this one in the postponement post. I need to get new eyeglasses, see the dentist and get a physical check-up done as well as probably see the gynecologist again. Although, I hope the last one isn’t necessary. I may also consider getting OTC medication to control my mind because that racing isn’t helping me.
  • Obtain my driver’s license – I might not have a car by the time I start college, but having my license can’t hurt. Perhaps I can save up enough to buy a used one during the years there.
  • Study various subjects – I want to study the math I failed, but I also want to study a few languages and a little bit about mental illnesses, especially depression.