Bad Day, Bad Week

May 27, 2014 — Kaye

This week has not been a good one. Yesterday, I lost a friend and today, I lost my boyfriend. Reason? He’s going to become very busy over the summer. In spite of me making it clear I have no problem, he feels it’s wrong to have me waiting (because, apparently, waiting is torture).

I wish I had never entered the dating/relationship world. It’s been nothing but heartbreak. I didn’t expect to find the “right” person right away or I expected things to be perfect, but I cannot deal with having my heart broken over and over again. I’d rather stay alone.

The only bright side to this is I still have my virginity. I’d prefer to still have my first kiss too, but I guess it’s no big deal. I’ve kissed my mom and sister on the lips, so it’s not like it was the very first time my lips have touched someone else’s.

I miss Emmi. Yes, after everything I just said, I still miss Emmi and I have no chance to get him back. He may be a borderline sex maniac, but if that meant I didn’t have to worry about a breakup, I would’ve given it to him from the start. In a way, I still want him to have my virginity. Of course, he could’ve easily taken it and gotten rid of me, so I’m fantasizing here, but sex was the only thing I had to worry about with Emmi. Maybe that’s why he loves it so much.

At least, I probably set the record for shortest relationship.

Posted in Friendships. Tags: , , , , , . 1 Comment »

She Will Have Me Crying

June 24, 2013 — Kaye

Today, my school clinician gave me some graduation gifts. A box with little messages inside, a card she’s written, and a box of scented candles.

She’s the first therapist in school I had that I really liked. It always feel like going to see a friend rather than going to a scheduled appointment. We have serious discussions on occasions, but we’re usually just chatting and laughing together. Today, I showed her some characters I made.

After I graduate, I stay in the therapy center’s system for an additional year, so I have one more year with her. I thought that was the strangest thing I’d ever heard, but I’m not complaining!

I’m certain I’ll be fine at the graduation ceremony, but if I cry over anyone, I know it will be her. Out of everybody I’ve met in my entire school life, she’s probably my favorite. I can’t be in therapy forever and I know I’ll have to leave her eventually. Our ages are too vast for any kind of friendship. Still, it’ll be hard. I’ve never had too difficult of a time leaving any school, but she’s going to have me crying an ocean.

Posted in Emotions, Friendships, School. Tags: , , , , . Leave a Comment »

I’m Happy For Her…

May 15, 2013 — Kaye

…but a little sad for myself.

My friend Jen is going to prom tomorrow. Originally, she wasn’t going to go for the same reason I wasn’t – lack of money – but a teacher got her a fee waiver (free ticket, basically) and another got her a necklace, hair clips and let her borrow a shawl. She’s taking my other friend, and her best friend, Lia with her because they’ve known each other for years and are very close. Lia’s family is well off, so it’s no problem for her.

I’m happy for Jen, and Lia, but I’m a little sad I can’t go. I hate huge parties, but I just wanted to see what it was like. But I didn’t – and still don’t – have the money for it. Even if I did, spending it on prom wouldn’t be wise because of little emergencies that pop up. Twice, I loaned $40, once for an overdue bill and again for a traffic fine. I was paid back, but the point is with things like that creeping up, I really need to save my money. I’m not even ordering my yearbook, which is only $45, because I know I will need something else and would regret having that yearbook.

Oh, well. Everybody has to make sacrifices. It won’t kill me.

Posted in Friendships. Tags: , , , , , . 1 Comment »
Newer posts »