I Broke

September 10, 2020 — Kaye

No, that’s not a typo.

I said a few times here I like my job, and I do. But much like my previous job, that doesn’t mean I like what they do.

Something I recently realized is we have “6ft sensors”, but the metal detectors were disabled and uninstalled to encourage “social distancing”. So, no one can be within six feet of someone else, but someone can walk in with a weapon and assault someone or open fire. And yes, this did happen at one location, although the employee opened fire in the parking lot.

Having already lived through one workplace shooting, I really don’t want get caught in another.

Safety issues aside, I enjoyed my job a lot more before March. But it’s not just the supposed precautions (also, someone else touching what I want to eat instead of me is gross; “safety”, my ass on that one!).

Temporarily, they added an extra hour to our work days. You’d think an extra hour wouldn’t be a big deal, but it is. I’d prefer an extra day to stumbling around my station like I’m drunk. For a place supposedly obsessed with safety, they certainly think nothing of overtired employees operating their machinery and walking around the warehouse. And, you know, driving.

I also received a write-up for something neither I nor the manager who issued it remembers. I don’t know how that works.

The final straw was watching a friend successfully get a position I’d been asking about for months and never got a clear answer on, despite both of us being there for the same amount of time and having no prior experience. I am always happy for my friends, and even the team I was trying to join continually pushed for me to be added. On top of this, it turns out to do any position, even one on the same level, I’ll more than likely to have to transfer to another building every time I want to.

I snapped.

Even at my previous job, I worked various positions without having to transfer. I did everything that wasn’t management.

But none of that was the clincher that made me decide I want to return to part-time or quit wholly. No, the clincher was when I learned I can make more money with rideshare. After taxes.

The danger of that is lack of insurance, but turns out you can buy health and life insurances, and not have them tied to employment. That solves that problem.

Still, I don’t want to decrease my schedule for the sake of working less. Part of it is I’ve taken up studying again since lockdown has tendered my trade school useless (well, my current job did that too). I like learning on my own time, and since I don’t want to repeat the school/work/sleep cycle if I don’t have to. I don’t even play my Sims game much anymore because I prefer practice. That was unexpected.

If I cannot transfer (again…) or return to part-time, I will try to hold out at my job until January. But if my efforts ultimately change nothing, I consider myself done.

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Micromanagement

July 28, 2019 — Kaye

How many times have I eaten my words? I’m going to stop counting.

I have a post from September of last year where I talk about not wanting to give Amazon my business because of their reputation for treating their warehouse workers terribly. If only I’d known ten months later, I’d be giving something more than my money. Like my time!

Four of my co-workers from my retail job work at Amazon, two at the same location I do and the other two at a different location. Three of those four also quit the retail job. All the complaints I heard were solely from the internet, and while I don’t doubt they do happen (no company is a saint!), my co-workers have had zero complaints beyond the normal gripes most people would have about work (being tired, etc), One has worked there for nearly a year, and he’s told me Amazon is more stressful, but he likes it better. That definitely says something.

After being fired twice (one of which was for being competent at my job; I still don’t get that), I decided to give Amazon a shot. Opportunities for the location I’m at disappear fast, so it was hard snagging a spot. When I finally did, there were only two left! Their hiring process could use a bit of work. I only got a start date because I contacted customer support (ironic) to find out what was going on. At only three days in, I know better than to get my hopes up, but for those three days so far, the job has been going well. Considering it pays more than both jobs that fired me, and this summer as a whole has been horrid since June, I hope the job continues to go well.

The lesson I’ve learned is if you’re looking for a job, take your friends’ word above all, including “professional” references.

Let me explain the last three words of that sentence. The jobs I got fired from were considered great places to work… by my school. They turned out to be micro-managed and awful. The irony is in both jobs, there was rarely any real work to do! The first job, at SHI International Corp, had me with a team, and we spent most of our nine hour shifts talking or doing anything to occupy ourselves because we had nothing to do. We couldn’t even pretend to be busy, unless you can staring at a device while it’s loading for over an hour. The manager didn’t even want you to read a book while you waited. The expectation was to sit there for the most of those nine hours and do literally nothing if there was no work.

In other words, it was boring as all hell! Maybe that explains why they paid only $12/hr. Yes, I know work isn’t supposed to be fun, but that’s usually because of the work, not lack of it! I hate them for what went down the day I got fired, but them turning me loose is what they let me go to Amazon (which has all the perks they do, except the gym, but the job itself lets me get enough exercise!), so I’m not disappointed I’m gone. Oh, and schooling wasn’t needed to do that job in the first place. Any person who can operate a smartphone, which is just about every able-bodied person born after 1980, can do it.

Next job was an “emergency” call center. I put “emergency” in quotes because no real life-and-death job is going to fire someone for 1) actually being competent and 2) not fitting in. Like SHI, not much of the shift was spent actually working. They didn’t expect me to sit and do literally nothing, but they did expect me to be the whole center’s new best friend within four days’ time, hence being fired for not fitting in. I still don’t know how it makes sense in their head to tell someone as you’re firing them that they’re good at their job, but must be let go because they can’t into a clique. This one actually makes me a bit more bitter than SHI because my school had the nerve to blame me for this nonsense. No, assholes, I’m not changing my personality to fit in with what amounts to high school culture. That’s why I left high school! If being friendly and getting along with everyone isn’t enough to fit in, I’ll pass. Not even my best friend of eight years and I were best friends in four days.

Meanwhile, there’s constant work at Amazon and the employees seem to never stop. I’d think that’s the place that would be micromanaged versus a job where work is actually a small part of the shift. Instead, the managers back off! They leave us be to do our jobs. They sit at a desk to do their own work, and we go to them if we need help. That’s it. In a micromanaged job (two), there’s little real work to do, but in a job with hands-off management, work is done around the clock. “Irony” is an understatement to describe that.

I snagged a position at Amazon back in April, but gave it up for the IT jobs my school found me. It goes without saying I regret that, especially since positions for my location are hard to come at all. I know it’s better late than never, but I wish I listened to my friends sooner than I listened to “professionalism”. Though, maybe it’s no surprise personal references would be more accurate. As my friends, they know me a lot better than anyone at my school would.

I’ve also learned getting paid to do nothing is not as fun as it sounds. Granted, my regular shift at Amazon is only four hours, but it’s four hours that go very fast. I look at the clock and I’m shocked I’ve already been there for forty-five minutes.

I suppose this is an example of a good thing coming out of a bad situation. I’ll never be happy I was fired, especially for a reason as terrible as “you can’t sit with us”, but those firings allowed me to get a job that pays more than both of them, is in my town of residence, has good management (I really hope I never regret saying that), and actual work to do. And yes, I get along with everyone. I may not be able to make brand-new BFFs in four days, but I can certainly get on someone’s good side in a minute! Seems I fit in nicely.

Let me sum up how I feel about these past jobs in three words. If you listen to pop music, you can probably guess.

This song is way too relatable right now. This GIF nicely sums up my feelings too.

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Why I No Longer Want A Career

July 3, 2019 — Kaye

Short answer: I have a work ethic.

Much longer answer: I was fired from a job, not for being incompetent or breaking the law or violating their policy, but for… not making friends. I was never unfriendly or unkind or cold to anyone, but the experienced hires decided I was too “weird”, I didn’t “fit in” with them, and since they weren’t all my new BFFs within the four days I worked, I was let go. Despite the numerous times this job was emphasized as being “life and death” (a description I now know is severely exaggerated), my inability to create instant lifelong friendships and preference to prioritize learning how to do my job competently was deemed grounds for letting me go.

As a child, I wanted to become a veterinarian because I loved animals. I learned as a teenager an adoration of animals is far from enough to consider that career. This is similar. I would say as a teenager I wanted a career, and though I never cared for being part of the “big wigs”, I wanted to be high above entry-level with a long resume of worthwhile skills and a job that allowed to never again worry about money.

What have I learned now as an adult? The job is irrelevant. It’s the management I need to be most concerned with. After nearly three years in retail, and poor management in three different industries (customer service, IT, and security), and managers who are all too obviously on a power play (my boyfriend recently told me of how he was yelled at for something he didn’t do, and yelled at again when he proved he wasn’t at fault; I have too many similar experiences), I have decided I want absolutely nothing to do with a career of any kind.

I want a job that pays well, has good management, has benefits, has a consistent schedule, and has a minimum of two days off. That’s it.

It doesn’t need to be a career. I don’t want it to be a career. If this is what I must deal with – if the being part of the “in crowd” is more important doing your job well and correctly, especially in the early days – I’m content to have an ordinary, nothing special job. Similarly, this is also why even if I had the needed personality for retail, I’d utterly refuse to enter management. I do not ever want to become like the management I’ve dealt with. Never do I want to believe it’s okay to behave aggressively toward those hierarchically beneath me, never do I want to yell at someone solely because I can and allow authoritative power to blind me to treating others fairly, and I absolutely do not want to decide someone’s work ethic is a bad quality (lack of work ethic is bad). I am no saint, nor will I ever be, but I can avoid becoming what I hate and I fear any step into management would force me against my morals. I will not compromise those beliefs for anything.

My new dream is to live with my boyfriend in a comfortable and spacious apartment, and to be home with him as much as possible. Because of all the stress I’ve dealt with, and all the needless experiences I have in my memory I can never burn, my relationship with him is one of the few experiences that consistently proves to be worth fighting for. It seems a career requires me to sacrifice kindness, fairness, and humility, and I am not willing to do that. I suppose there is a reason for the expression “money is the root of all evil”, and it’s very evident, but though I am not flawless, I will not allow a career to change who I am or change me into someone I hate.

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