Your Judgement Isn’t Important

Anger is swirling inside me right now.

I spent the whole day with my boyfriend. As always, I had a great time. However, we accidentally left his home a bit too late and, as a result, I had to take a much later train home than I intended. It was a genuine accident and we know we have to be more careful now.

So, why am I angry? Because when I sent a message to my uncle to let him know I’d be late, we got into a discussion about it and at one point, he said this to me: “He’s not important.”

“He” is referring to my boyfriend, of course. This isn’t the first time my uncle’s said that either and, frankly, I’m becoming less and less tolerant of these comments. I ignore them because my boyfriend doesn’t hear them, which is what I care about most, and they do not affect either of us personally. I don’t expect him to be considered important to anyone in my family. They don’t know him. But to say he’s not important at all? No!

Not only is he important to me, he is important as a person overall. Why? Let me break it up:

  • He was upset about being late and blamed himself for it. (Empathy)
  • He saw to it that I got on the train I needed and wouldn’t be any later than I already was. (Responsibility)
  • He told me to call him when I got home because he wanted to know I made it home safely. (Caring/Concern)
  • He apologized again after I called him. (Kindness)

There’s much more than that, but those are the ones relevant to this instance. You don’t have to be a big shot to be important. Everyone is important to at least two people: themselves and someone else. And I certainly hope he considers himself as important and valuable as I consider him.

I’ve told my boyfriend enough about my family for him to be able to make some scathing comments of his own, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t know them just like they don’t know him, yet he manages to be the bigger person in this matter. I love him for that, and I love him overall and the devil will have to rise before I let my family decide who I should deem important and unimportant. I could deem several of my uncle’s past relationships unimportant, but that wouldn’t make me any more mature than him, and they’re not mine to place a value on anyway. So, I don’t.

Getting in deeper, my boyfriend is one of the three people (the other two are my best friend, and high school clinician) who’s had – and still continues to have – a huge positive impact on me and my life. He’s important to my health, my well-being, and me as a person. He’s added a lot to me and my life I don’t want to ever have taken. He’s become another reason I’m happy I did not take my life years ago when I was heavily suicidal. I didn’t know him around the time and thinking that I so easily never could’ve saddens me. Heck, when I think about how it was pure luck I met him (I randomly decided to log into OKC after being fed up with it), I feel a bit stunned.

Yes, he is very important to me and I prioritize him. Sure, sometimes, other things come first because different things need attention at different times, but he and our relationship absolutely are a priority for me and unless the day comes when we decide to cut ties (which I hope will never happen), that’s how my priorities will always be. No amount of mean comments will make me regret that.

Wishful Wednesday: Join the 21st Century, Mom

My wish for this Wednesday? That my mother joins the 21st century.

Really, even if it is just concern for my safety, I’m tired of the paranoia. I’m tired of the “don’t go here; don’t go there” because I’m female and – ZOMG! – there will be guys around. What in the world makes her think only girls are susceptible to danger? Last I checked, guys are capable of being assaulted too. Not to mention crimes do happen in broad daylight!

Some time ago, I also ranted on my main Tumblr blog about how she thinks I shouldn’t have an iPhone because she supposedly knows some girl who was killed over one. She always has stories like this. If they’re true, then she knows a lot of people who have been murdered. I’d be scarred from that. I guess it never occurred to her that if someone wants to kill me, they’ll do it whether I have an iPhone or not.

I’m just fed up of hearing it. There’s being concerned and there’s being paranoid. If I were to take “better safe than sorry” to heart, I’d have to lock myself in a closet and remain forever shut off from the outside world. I really do not want to be part of a world where it should be assumed that every single person you don’t know who you pass by secretly wants to hurt you.

Wishful Wednesday: Workload of Pain

I had my first class today. The class itself was pretty good, but I’m already feeling overwhelmed by the homework and it’s not that much. I’m already dreading when I’ve got a 100-ton pile on my back. My next class starts in three hours and I’m already tired.

So my wish for this Wednesday is simply that the workload doesn’t drive me insane. I know I’m probably freaking out over nothing, but all the tales of exhausted college students don’t really help. Someone told me it’s because they procrastinate a lot and thus, have to finish their work all at once, but surely, not every student ready to collapse at any moment is lazy, right. Right?

Tired student

Yep. I’m pretty sure this will be me before the semester’s up.

This Is Not A Hotel!

I checked my archives and the last time my mother and sister slept over here was March 29th – two weeks ago.

I am getting tired of this! This is not a freakin’ hotel! They stay here because Mom doesn’t like walking in their neighborhood at night and she finished my hair too late. And whose fault is it that they live in a bad area in the first place?

And, of course, they don’t think it’s a big deal. They’re not the ones having their apartment used as a darn hotel! The year is not even half-over and already, they’ve spent the night more than twice. I still haven’t forgotten the two weeks during my winter break and the month of January. My uncle might not even come back tonight because they’re here and I don’t blame him. It is too cramped!

Not to mention my sister has been hogging my uncle’s netbook since they came here and we only have one plug, so I don’t want to use my laptop.

This night cannot go quick enough! They have no consideration for my needs and space. The reason they move so much is they can’t get along with neighbors. Gee, I wonder why? You can’t cramp three people into a small room and expect no complaining. You just can’t.

This is the last time they’re staying here because this is getting ridiculous. You’d think twenty-two years and two kids later, my mom would figure out how to plan ahead and learn from her mistakes. Obviously not.

Whoops! I Forgot!

No April Fools trick! I forgot about Mundane Monday! It really slipped my mind!

I guess I could talk about April Fool’s Day, but I really didn’t celebrate today. I think I’ll skip the segments for this week since it’s spring break. One week won’t hurt.

Happy April 1st, everybody!