Another Month, Another Guy

July 6, 2014 — Kaye

If you look at my “Good Things in 2014” list, you’ll see for July 6th, I put “talked to Sunny for nearly three hours”. Who’s Sunny?

As the title might imply, he’s yet another man I may have a relationship with. And again, another female nickname. It just seems like a good way to respect privacy. Plus, “Sunny” is fitting for him. He has been through a lot of hardships, but unlike me, he’s surprisingly optimistic about life. When we were talking over Skype in the early hours, he sounded nothing short of cheerful.

Sunny is the reason I made this post some time ago, but I’ve since let it go and forgiven him. One thing that has left me astounded, however, is that he claims to have had about ten relationships in four years (although no sexual ones). I’d like to think he’s making that up for whatever reason, but then again, my first relationship lasted a month, so who am I to doubt him?

What I really liked about our conversation is he asked about my asexuality. I had to explain more than once, but he did listen and eventually understand. And that was it. It didn’t turn into a full-blown conversation about sex. In fact, he was reluctant to even ask me about it because he didn’t want to make me uncomfortable and we weren’t together yet. But that topic last about two minutes before we moved on to something else.

Sunny has been infatuated with me since we met, whereas I didn’t have any feelings for him beyond platonic. Now, that may be changing. I was the one who asked for video chat, something I never do, and the teaser was letting him see me in a small pair of pajama shorts I had on. It was a joke, but I would not have said that to anyone else. Really, it was just nice to converse and not be asked for pictures, or to show myself nearly nude, or be flirted with. Speaking of which, he has never tried to flirt to with me. He’s told me he likes me and wants to hold me, but nothing flirtatious. I dislike flirting, so I hugely appreciate that.

I do not want to get my hopes up, but I really do hope things go well with Sunny and, if not life, I am with him for a long time.

Posted in Friendships. Tags: , , , , , . Leave a Comment »

It’s Not My Loss

October 4, 2013 — Kaye

I’m only nineteen and I feel like giving up entirely on guys already.

Yesterday, I got dumped. Sort of. We never went into a relationship with each other – didn’t even meet each other face-to-face – because I am asexual. The guy was getting impatient and questioned my interest in him. I admitted I was, but I knew he wanted a sexual relationship, so I spelled it out for him. I’m incapable of having sexual feelings. Not only did he dump me because of this, but he proceeded to ridicule me for it. This led to an argument, in which he told me to shut up three times and threatened to never speak to me again (that’s a threat?) because I repeatedly replied with “*eyeroll*” in response to his repeated replies of “Whatever”. I fail to understand how rolling your eyes is rude, but telling someone to shut up, yelling, and cursing at that person is not rude. Plus, how do you tell someone to shut up when you are the one who initiated contact?

Eventually, he revealed he had a bad day at work and hadn’t slept the previous night. So he was cranky and overtired, and took his anger out on me. I told him the rational thing to do when you’re overtired is go to sleep. I don’t know if he took the hint or not, but he didn’t reply to that. He did text me again some hours later, but I wasn’t exactly feeling forgiving, so instead of saying “Hi” back, my response was “What?” I guessed he sensed my anger because he asked if I wanted to be left alone. I was talking to three other people at once, so I didn’t respond right away, leading him to take my silence as a “yes”. When I finally did answer, I explained I was going to say it depends on if he’s going to continue to be mean towards me. Reply? Him basically calling me a liar and telling me to stop replying.

Really, I’m not disappointed. Not even upset. I’m mad about his rudeness, sure, but I couldn’t care less about him dumping me. I want nothing to do with someone who throws temper tantrums, nor am I obligated to educate someone on asexuality (which is less than 1% of the population, so I wasn’t surprised at his reaction to lack of a sex drive). I hope he finds someone with a sex drive that’s sky high. That woman will need it.

As for me, I’m talking to another guy who, so far, hasn’t expressed any kind of interest in sex, so I possibly have a relationship in the works. Even if it doesn’t work out, that’s fine. I’m not in a hurry. I got a new cell phone yesterday and I’m going shopping today, so what do I have to complain about? Nothing! 🙂

Posted in Miscellaneous. Tags: , , , , , . Leave a Comment »