Another Goal. I Should Get A Soccer Ball.

Since starting this blog, I’ve made a lot of goals for myself. Some couldn’t work out, so they had to be revised. Some are kind of simple. Others, not so much. Well, here’s another goal to add to the list.

One thing I tend to beat myself up over is how unproductive I am. I’m not referring to not having a job or such. I mean how I create work for myself, like my Sims Stories, and procrastinate. While I think my possible depression may have a little to do with it, I have to change that.

So what I’ve decided to do is make a productivity list and try do one thing I deem “productive” each day. Whether it’s studying (LOL!), drawing a picture, adding a chapter to one of my stories or even creating a post for this blog, as long as it is not just surfing around the internet. Hopefully, my productivity list won’t be as pitiful as my “Good Things” list. Heh.

I’m not going make the list yet because I’m still trying to figure out how to go about it. I’m thinking of doing it in a weekly format instead of a daily one, but creating a daily one to keep offline and just add up at the end of the week. When I have it figured out, you’ll see “Productivity List” listed on the upper bar. I hope this makes some kind of a difference.

I have to admit I sometimes feel pathetic for needing a blog and not being able to just do what I try to put my mind to, but I’m trying to be a better person. Trying’s good, right?

Dead On Drawing

About two years ago, I got into drawing. I hate to say it, but I started for a really bad reason. I wanted to eventually draw fan art of my favorite show. Stupidly, I wanted to learn a particular language for the same reason. While it’s not entirely meaningless because I now genuinely do want to learn, I’m still kind of hooked on drawing fan art.

The thing is I haven’t really done anything for months. Last year, I had an art class, but it bored the heck out of me. Not because it wasn’t about fan art or anything like that. I just couldn’t seem to get anything out of it and I mostly remember movies. Specifically Spirited Away and Howl’s Moving Castle.

I don’t like to draw in school because it’s too noisy and I don’t like to draw at home because I don’t want anybody seeing. And by the time I can be alone, it’s late and I’m tired. I occasionally do stuff online, but not from scratch.

On top of that, it’s not just fan art I’m hooked on anymore. Now, I find myself wishing I could draw so I could send pictures of my friends for them at birthdays or Christmas or even just make a silly comic of us all. But it takes practice – years of it – to get to any decent level. Notice I said “decent”. I could start drawing again tomorrow, continue everyday until I’m twenty-five and still be drawing stuff that looks worse than a toddler’s scribbles. Yeah, that’s discouraging.

Still, I want to do it, but I’m going to need a better reason than a TV show. I have a sketchbook I haven’t touched since the day I bought it because I don’t want it filled with ugly pictures. I don’t care about being professional, but I want to be a good hobbyist at the very least.

So I will get back into drawing. Perhaps over spring break or perhaps during my gap year. But maybe I’ll do flowers instead of characters.