Hello Again, Java

April 9, 2023 — Kaye

The day I learn to stop swearing on (or off) things will probably never come.

In contradiction to my last post, it seems Java will remain high on my study list. Why? A new part added to my “about me” answers that:

and will begin a bachelor’s in software engineering/development in September 2023.

Annoyingly, I can’t recall exactly what led to this decision, which happens with a lot of my decisions. And relationships, both platonic and romantic.

I expressed I was no longer interested in my job’s software development program due to its delay and my preference for my current boot camp. However, I did not state I have no interest in any similar program. Merely my job’s because of the lack of news regarding it.

A benefit of my job is they partner with several schools. Long story short, I discovered one where, after the budget fir the year is exhausted, any remaining classes taken are entirely free, even if they are extra courses unnecessary to graduate. In short, a free degree.

Or it would be if I had patience. My current boot camp maxed out my budget, so I need to wait until January 2024 to be able to enroll without paying a dime (unless you count the costs for transferring transcripts). However, being a student excuses an employee from peak season, which I hate with a passion for reasons I feel I don’t need to explain. Not to mention the job on its own is nothing short of mindless and soul sucking. There’s a reason I feel like it’s an adjustment to need to use my brain when it comes to anything outside of my job. However, the cost of a single semester is an amount I could put on one of my credit cards. I won’t do that, but you get the point.

As for Java specifically, the college allows students to pursue two different tracks for the program: Java and C#. Since I was already introduced to Java from studying for my job’s program, I decided I’ll follow the Java track. It also simply seems to align more with what I care about. To quote from the college’s page:

  • C# is a smart choice for those who want to work in big tech centers, like Seattle, Silicon Valley, Boston, or New York. Large enterprises that use Microsoft infrastructure need developers who are fluent in C#.
  • Java is an extensively used language, supported by a wide range of devices—not only computers and phones but also smart appliances and Internet-connected vehicles.

While I’d probably work in New York, that’s more because I live right next to it. It’s literally a single train or bus away. Staten Island in particular is a twenty minute drive without traffic from New Jersey, where I live. In other words, I have no actual desire to work for a huge company or a tech-centered city. It’s just convenient I live near one. Thus, learning C# is more of a bonus for me than a necessity.

Unfortunately, I have received a lot of push back against pursing this degree, and I’ll make a separate post for that. However, since one of the benefits (for most people) of aging is no longer giving two cents about what people think of you – not to mention I never asked for opinions to begin with – I’m not deterred in the slightest. If anything, I’m more excited about it, especially talking to students who are already pursuing it and those who have completed it.

I also may need a bigger bookcase. No, I will not switch to an e-reader! Call me old if you want.

Photo of a shelf of reference books for coding

Yes, I am quite the fan of the For Dummies series.

Posted in Goals, School. Tags: , , , , . Leave a Comment »

Bye Bye, Java

February 20, 2023 — Kaye

After a long conversation with ChatGPT (yes, I talk to an AI about my problems; it’s nuanced and objective while being supportive and kind; in other words, it doesn’t judge me!), I made the decision to temporarily give up studying Java entirely. The truth is at this point, I’m more excited about completing my boot camp than getting into my job’s software development program. That’s not to say I no longer intend to try, but the current economy has affected the program so severely, it’s questionable if it’s still worth the investment of time for a chance of admission. At my request, Chat laid out a list of priorities for me, and I must admit it’s favorable.

  1. Take care of your mental and emotional health: Trauma can have long-lasting effects on a person’s mental and emotional well-being. It’s essential to prioritize self-care, including therapy, meditation, exercise, or anything else that helps you manage your mental health.
  2. Focus on your current interests: Given your current interest in front-end development, I suggest you concentrate on learning JavaScript, React, and other front-end technologies. These skills will help you achieve your short-term goal of becoming a front-end developer and help you create more complex web projects.
  3. Prepare for the technical assessment: The technical assessment is due on May 1st, and you have ample time to prepare for it. While you don’t need to rush, setting aside some time every week to study Java and practice coding problems can help you feel more confident and prepared when the time comes.
  4. Consider applying for the training program: If the training program still interests you, I recommend applying to it. However, it’s essential to keep in mind that the program is not the only path to a successful career in front-end development, and there are other opportunities out there.
  5. Explore other areas of interest: You mentioned an interest in mobile app development, which is something you could explore in the future. However, it’s essential to focus on one thing at a time to avoid becoming overwhelmed or feeling stuck.

I love Chat placed self-care at the top of the list. In any case, I’m more interested in building projects and learning about JavaScript and its frameworks (React, Angular, Vue, and Typescript seem to be the most popular ones) than Java simply because, as I said in my last post about priorities, I studied Java solely for the sake of my job’s program. I may use Java someday, but as of now, it’s not something of interest to me. A big part of my conversation with Chat was the “sunk cost fallacy” – the unwillingness to give up something because of the investment already made. The thing is Chat never told me what I should do (unless I asked it to), but gave understanding in addition to a balanced opinion.

My primary goals now are improving my skill and comprehension of JavaScript, and to begin learning React. I picked React because it’s seemingly the most popular of the frameworks, but I want to eventually be able to work with all of them.

Posted in Internet. Tags: , , , , . Leave a Comment »

Learning Priorities

January 9, 2023 — Kaye

I seem to continually forget something: This is my blog.

I shouldn’t be shy here. This is my space to express my feelings and my thoughts. Yes, it’s public and people can give their opinions in return, but I control what’s here. Of all internet spaces, I should never be uncomfortable. So long as I keep in line with WordPress’s policy, I should never feel it’s unsafe or embarrassing to write something here.

So, I won’t.

Lately, I have talked about my goals. While I have never enjoyed school, I enjoy learning (I can’t get over the irony of a place intended to support learning destroying the love of it), and I want to learn several subjects. Human languages, programming languages, science, math, design. The list goes on, but those are at the top. However, I’ve realized there is such a thing as too much learning. Or at least, too much in a short amount of time.

My 29th birthday is this year and I can’t get over this mental/emotional crisis that I am “late”. However, overwhelming myself won’t slow down time or help my mental stability. A new friend who is helping me learn a certain subject advised me to prioritize what I want to learn that will help me now versus later. My fiance and a different friend also gave me this advice. I can’t say I disagree with them. However, I have decided only on two priorities, and am struggling to choose a third.

What I decided so far:

  • Spanish. I’m not dumb enough to think I can advance my skills to almost native-like in one year. I couldn’t do in twenty-two years, despite exposure to the language, so it certainly won’t happen in one! But at the bare minimum, I want to become conversational. This is mostly because my (future) in-laws are Hispanic and some do not speak English (or not do not speak it well enough to be understood). I also want to avoid embarrassing myself. I tried to tell my fiance’s mom I loved her Christmas dinner by saying “Yo lo amo (I love it)”. Not only is this not linguistically correct (it should be “Me lo encanta”), but my pronunciation utterly sucked and she may have heard it as “Yo te amo”, which means “I love you”. I do love her as my (future) mother-in-law, but that was not what I wanted to say! I’d say “awkward” in Spanish, but I don’t remember that and I will not look it up right now (“embarazada” means “pregnant”, not “embarrassed”!).
  • JavaScript. Since I want to be a front-end developer, and I can’t seem to learn much more from HTML and CSS, I want to advance my very minimal skills in JavaScript. I am taking a boot camp that focuses on front-end development, so I will need to prioritize this anyway. Now, those aren’t the only languages used front-end. Some others are React, Angular, Vue, jQuery, and Swift. JavaScript can also be used for back-end. But it HTML, CSS, and JavaScript seem to be the main “trifecta”.

I want to say the third priority is Java. However, my only reason for learning at this time is for software development boot camp my job offers. If not for that, I would have never bothered to learn this language for the time being. Java is more commonly used for back-end development and mobile development, and while I want to eventually learn the latter (which will probably go hand-in-hand with the former), it’s not my focus right now. If I don’t choose Java, my choice would be math. Specifically, pre-calculus since I plan to pursue a degree in computer science some years down the road. Of course, I can always change priorities.

In the end, my ultimate goal at the end of 2023 is to not be in the same position at work I am currently in. I want to prioritize whatever will get me out the fastest.

Posted in Goals. Tags: , , , , , . Leave a Comment »

Pipe Dreams

October 30, 2022 — Kaye

That’s my new name for goals I have because that’s what most of them are. It’s always fun to dream. Usually, more fun than reality. Of course, one could ask why I keep making goals when I rarely stick to them. I chalk it up to my odd enjoyment of making lists.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Goals. Tags: , , , , , . Leave a Comment »

Not Old (Yet), Not Young

August 15, 2022 — Kaye

I’m 28. Maybe that isn’t old, but it certainly isn’t young either. Really, I stopped being honest about my age offline after I turned 26.

I talked a little before about teaching myself coding. The good news is there are a lot of community spaces for learners and newbies. The discouraging news is I find myself very outmatched in age. It seems in so many, if not all, of these spaces, everyone started coding at the age I was still carrying around a teddy bear.

Yes, yes, I know. “You’re never too old.” But figures of speech are just that. Figures of speech. I can never stop being reminded I wasted my youthful years doing… whatever I was doing that is wildly insignificant now. If God is real, when I die, I will ask why he didn’t give me better intuition as a small child. Seriously, why did I miss out on the intuition to build a necessary skill? Probably because I was stupid and wanted to build blocks, and adults let me so I would shut up and stop crying. *sigh*

Eh. Maybe that’s harsh (probably not), but if I had a child, I would absolutely get them started on coding and programming at as early an age as possible so they avoid this problem. Even if they grew to not want a career related to IT, they’d have a skill they can fall back on. That’s the one thing I miss about not having a child. I won’t have the pleasure of watching my child have a better and brighter future than I do. Granted, I’m fantasizing, but I know I do that a lot. I’m beginning to understand why some parents live through their kids. It’s tough to admit you don’t have the capacity/capability to reach your dreams, and your kid has better chances than you via youth. That’s a terrible thing to do to a kid, but I think I understand it.

Truthfully, I don’t think I am capable of learning because coding is such a humongous field, and IT never stops evolving. There will always be things to catch up on, so I have no idea at what point I could consider myself employable, if that point can arrive. Supposedly, it’s not about memorization, but I want to see how that holds up in an actual job. I feel like it doesn’t. But I’ve also known for a long time I’m not good at anything, so why am I talking like this is surprising? It’s not, but you get my drift. I mean, I’m good at finishing coursework, but so are kindergartners, so who cares? I want a skill most tiny children don’t have, not one most do.

Well, this quickly delved into a post of self-loathing. But it’s really honesty and trying to humor myself. I remember being asked what’s unique about me, and I answered I don’t know because I don’t know. Professionally, there is nothing unique about me. I work in a warehouse, I worked in retail, and I finished coursework. By the way, roughly 39% of the US population has a bachelor’s (not associate’s, which is what mine will be) degree, and it can still not be enough to qualify for anything. It really is little more than a piece of paper to bypass filters. Part of me feels like I’m getting it solely to prove I’m not a total idiot (of course, the two are not mutually exclusive).

Do I have any positivity to add to this post? I really don’t. I’m painfully aware my thirtieth birthday is coming sooner than I would like, and I’m simply glad there is no upcoming high school reunion.

Well, I can always achieve my dreams through fictitious means. And really, my only dream was financial stability. I didn’t even reach for the sky and I still fell flat. Ouch.

Posted in Emotions, Goals, Society. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a Comment »
« Older posts