No Forgiveness

A comic I will not link to because it’s maddening prompted this post.

I have a big problem with the concept of forgiveness. It’s supposed to be “healing”. As far as I’ve been able to see, it’s a way to excuse the bad things people do.

The comic was about bullying. In summary, the artist’s childhood bully was once her friend, but ditched her because she (the bully) became popular. Artist finds the bully on Facebook years later to discover she and the other kids who mistreated her have grown up and live normal lives while the artist wishes she could erase those awful years from her life.

I know the feeling.

The title described it as a “heart-melting comic”, but there is nothing that melts my heart about knowing people can mistreat or flat-out ruin years of your life with no remorse and carry on like normal while you live with the after effects. I consider those people borderline sociopaths.

Yes, people can argue there’s no point in being angry years later and, to an extent, I agree. However, as far as I am concerned, I have the right to be angry with my bullies because they made my school life a living hell, and the adults had zero power to stop it (heads up: “tell an adult” is the most worthless advice that can ever be given in regards to bullying). They are part of the reason I want to burn my childhood to ashes, and I am supposed to forgive them because time passed? Because “kids will be kids” {so, why bother with discipline?)? Of course, they’ve moved on. Bullies don’t have remorse or they wouldn’t do it. But they do not deserve forgiveness and I won’t forgive them because, even if I will never see them again, I refuse to justify and excuse what they did to me!

No, it’s not okay to hurt someone because it will be in the past. No, it’s not okay for children to be bullies because they are children. No, time passing does not excuse someone’s abusive actions. And no, I do not wish any of my bullies a happy life. Perhaps it now makes me border on sociopathic, but for what they did to me for all of those years, I wish them nothing less than the absolute hell they gave me!

No, I don’t live my life angry every second. The only reason I even thought about it is I came across that comic. But I do not, and I will never, forgive my bullies for how they treated me.

Forgiveness is not a right and not everyone deserves the privilege.

Well-Meaning, But Uninformed

“The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

Indeed it is.

I’ve struggled with my hair for years. My family was obsessed with it. As a kid, my mother forced me to my hair permed and professionally styled with extensions, not caring at all for my discomfort or how much getting extensions hurt. Trips to the hair salon were seen as essential to my living, and any protests were met with verbal/emotional abuse and accusations of me not liking to look “pretty”. As an adult, the obsession continued with my grandfather. Let me tell you, an old man obsessed with a young woman’s appearance is all kinds of creepy. Only recently has my family shut up about my hair because, frankly, I can’t afford a bi-weekly visit to the hair salon and I don’t have time for it.

I’m anemic because of iron deficiency. I have not had my hair permed since late last year, but I had no idea stopping those treatments meant your hair begins to fall out. I have been using certain hair oils – something I was recommended by people in personal life who aren’t family – but they’ve had no effect, and my hair is still falling out. Some advice-seeking in a Facebook group got me an interesting bit of knowledge: lack of iron can cause hair loss.

I did a research of my own. It turns out iron is necessary for hair to grow. Iron, the mineral I’ve been deficient in for at least eight years (when I was diagnosed with anemia), is necessary for hair growth.

Never did my hair-obsessed family mention this. And I’m furious.

I don’t expect them to know such a fact. I do expect them to care more that my hair is healthy rather than pretty. But they didn’t. Hair care has been a trial-and-error process for me because I only knew it as “washing, perming, and hair spray”, and I got sick of it. Only when my family’s obsessive behavior stopped did I care to try to learn if there were other ways.

I intend to see a doctor to ask questions and rule out other medical problems, but for the time being, I’m going to take some multivitamins I have and see if my hair changes at all. I don’t expect too, but if there is a good change, I’m going to be both glad and angry. Glad because my hair is finally fixing itself, and angry with my family for not teaching me better hair care habits while growing up to begin with. At the very least, if it doesn’t grow, I’ll be happy if it stops falling out.

Goodbye, Winx…

Aside from a mere mention of it in some previous posts, I don’t think I’ve ever talked about Winx Club on this blog. Well, I’m finally going to do that. As you might guess from the title, however, it’s not happy. In fact, I’m full of rage right now and trying to show an extreme amount of restraint because if I wrote what’s on my mind exactly verbatim, this post would be 75% cursing at minimum. I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to maintain that restraint, but I will try.

I lost interest in Winx Club sometime around late 2015. I’d guess about September. I tried to stay interested in it, but the few things I liked about the later seasons (season 5 and onward) weren’t enough to hold my interest. So, of course, it just slipped away and I was no longer enthralled with Winx Club as I used to be. However, I did not, by any means, hate the show. I still followed it to see if things got any better.

Not only did things not get better, they got worse, but not within the show. As of last night, I can sincerely say I do hate the show and I hate its fandom even more. The fandom has lately begun to take issue with anyone who isn’t so fond of the later seasons, to the point of undermining their opinions and condescendingly deciding anyone who prefers the older seasons “doesn’t like change”. That’s not why I hate it. The reasons for my anger and now-hatred of it is one of  them decided to make false accusations toward and create lies about me because they didn’t like to response to something they’d replied.

I have zero problems with people disagreeing with me. I expect that and if that’s all that’d happened, it would’ve been the end. But that’s not all that happened. This person lied and said I sent hate into their inbox when I’d never visited their blog prior to replying to that particular post. They also accused me of submitted the confession that was posted on, which, again I did not do. They also accused me of blacklisting a subject after they’d posted about it causing biased in the fandom. Again, not something I did. Rather than stopping at disagreeing with me and leaving it be, they decide to make up lies and false accusations about me for no other reason (presumably) than not liking what I had to say. I didn’t like what they had to say either, yet funnily enough, I didn’t deem it at all appropriate to falsely accuse them of things and spread lies about them.

Even if I did still like Winx Club, I would not want anything to do with a fandom that finds it appropriate to make up lies about others on a whim. For all the show’s flaws, past and present, the fandom and community are 100 times worse and I’m ashamed of myself for ever being a part of it. I do have a few friends in the fandom I’ve made and kept, despite my fallen interest in the show, so I can’t say I hate the entire fandom. But excluding those friends, I do hate the fandom and I never again want to take any part of it. If somehow, I regain my interest in Winx Club and it becomes my favorite show again, I will still refuse to be part of that fandom for the simple fact it was deemed okay to falsely accuse me of things I didn’t do and lie about me. If that’s how they handle when they’re disagreed with, the fandom can kick rocks for all I care.

For the record, I’m not going to deny my own aggression. When I wrote the first response, I was irritated, so I know it was aggressive. But nowhere did I make up lies about someone or falsely accuse them of things they didn’t.

I will let you read the post for yourselves and you can decide who did what to who. Clicking the image will take you to my second response to this.

(Blue is me; Red is the liar)

Goodbye, Winx Club. Goodbye forever.

I Hate Origin

Self-explanatory title.

A few days ago, EA released a patch for The Sims 3. Since Sims 3’s run ended two years, I was surprised they’d make something for the game and didn’t think much of downloading it. I now very much regret. The update tied Sims 3 to Origin, so the only way to play is to log in. One of the reasons I liked Sims 3 over Sims 4 was not needing to sign in.

To say I was angry would be an understatement. I despise Origin and this stunt made my hatred for EA multiply by numbers I didn’t even know existed. I couldn’t figure out how to go back to previous update, so in the end, I uninstalled all of my Sims 3 games and am now sticking solely with Sims 2.

I’m still finding it hard to believe the company that started my Sims addiction is the same one that murdered it. I guess the upside is I regained about 30 GB of space on my computer.

And yes, I’m well aware many companies are switching solely to digital downloads. However, I do not trust them. I don’t like the idea of paying for something and being unable to have it. Why did I pay for it then?!

If I lose or damage one of my game discs, I can replace it. Having to game tied to Origin means I don’t have any control over that. If EA decides to shut down Origin, everybody loses their games. Same thing if – heaven forbid – their website ends up becoming hacked (Target, anyone?). Basically, it’s up to their discretion whether any person can play it or not. Regardless of the fact that person paid for it, the company (EA in this example) doesn’t have to permit them to play the game. And considering EA has won the title for being the worst company twice in a row, I wouldn’t put it past them to do something of the sort.

I have no idea if there will be a Sims 5, but if there is, it seems I won’t be a part of it, even if the game is amazing in my opinion. I would delete my Origin/EA account entirely, but there’s no way to do so without contacting support (they say it’s for “security purposes”; yeah, right) and I don’t want to talk to any of Origin’s staff, period!

I hope everyone who’s having fun with the games continues to have fun and enjoys being tied to Origin. As much as I love and miss Sims 3, I don’t like being tied and I refuse to be a part of that nuisance. If that’s going to eventually mean I’ll never be able to play PC games again (or new ones anyway), so be it. Thankfully, there are other platforms and other games that I can pay for and actually possess.