Reflecting On Kaye’s Days

We are all human. We all make mistakes. I try to be conscious of my flaws, but I believe there are flaws and poor qualities that are invisible to me simply because I can’t have a third-person view of myself.

However, I have changed to a degree over the decade of this blog’s existence, and I decided I want to reflect on some of my past posts. Because, in truth, several of my previous posts embarrass me today!

For the sake of not having an excessively long post, I stuck to five blog posts. These aren’t necessarily in the order of most shameful to least or vice versa. The order of them is merely how I chose to organize them.

My Responses to “Bingos”, written on Jun 8, 2012

Why am I embarrassed of this post? On the surface, it may not be so bad. After all, there’s nothing wrong with choosing not to have kids, and I am not ashamed of that at all. The reason I no longer like this post is I wrote this at a time when “childfree” was very much a personality trait for me. I never went so far as the “I hate the mere existence of children” people (those people are more annoying than any child has the capability of being), but I was very deep into the childfree community and not much else. On top of that, I feel it’s obvious I wrote that post only because I had writer’s block at the time.

In truth, I think the literal topic of not having kids is very boring to write about it. It’s ultimately writing about my life as it is. In fact, the only time I think about the fact I don’t have kids is after spending time with my niece, and that’s not always because she’s driven me up the wall. It’s because I came into contact with a child, so naturally, I’ll recall I don’t have one. You know, by association of the subject.

You’re Not Special! Get In Line!, written on May 31, 2012

Merely the title of this post gives me shame. I don’t recall why I wrote this rant. I assume someone was rude to me. Maybe my anger was justified, but I can’t feel this rant is. I leave it up as a reminder I don’t need to publicize all of my thoughts. In fact, many of my posts from 2012 and 2013 give me shame.

I am a crazy person…, written on Jan 13, 2013

This is a post where I fantasized about college possibilities. That one sentence on its own explains why I’m embarrassed about this post. Really, any post I wrote about college before attending gives me the urge to bury myself in a ditch. My view of college was as unrealistic as my family’s, and while I recognized the financial aspect, I failed to grasp how large it truly was. I also had really too high expectations. College is different from high school, but not special at all.

I’m Different? Hooray!, written on May 27, 2012

I feel like this most would give off wild “not like other girls” vibes, though it’s more “not like other people” than specifically women. Now, people are sometimes ostracized for not fitting into what society deems normal, but individually, that often comes down to who surrounds you. This post is similar to the first one I listed here in that being “different” was kind of a personality trait. The traits I listed in that post were: atheism, pacifism, introversion, analytical, bisexual/asexual, childfree. Once again, these topics are rather boring and there is little to say about them. The only one that really makes a difference in my family is my sexuality, which is secret from everyone except my fiancé and a low number of friends. Oh, and I’m not asexual at all. I’m bi entirely. Although, I would rather hug than bang, and never with strangers. No one becomes physically or sexually attractive to me until after I have a connection with them.

I also based this post off of my K – 12 school experience. Kids are utter hellions, and contrary to being taught otherwise, expectations of adulthood should not be based on those years. Enough said.

I’m Having A Bad Day!!!!!, written on Feb 4, 2013

This post was merely a rant. As much as I believe this blog is my space for any words I choose (within WordPress’s policy), I feel like this was more appropriate for a private diary, not a public blog. While I have rants on my blog, this particular one is nothing more than me screaming into a void. I don’t feel it fits into the category, or on my blog whatsoever. But like the others, I leave it as a reminder to be wary of what I publicize.

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