Girl, You’re So Crazy

I don’t know why I’ve grown to love mocking these, but I have. Here’s my most recent “favorite” I’ve come across.

For some reason, the condescending ones are the funniest to me. For people who “run their own business”, they’re sorely lacking in professionalism. A real business owner or salesperson would never talk down to their customer/client base. Why would you insult the people you’re trying to sell to?

(Side note: “MLM positivity” is for “men loving men”, not “multi-level marketing”. Oops!)

I guess I’ve found a new hobby. Let’s play, shall we?

How is life working out for you working for the big man?

Great! Thanks for asking! It’s the open enrollment period, so I just signed up for benefits. Did you know their medical insurance covers 100% of preventive care and 90% of most other medical attention (ambulance, emergency room, etc)? Oh, and I used some of my PTO to cover a shift I couldn’t work. Working full-time is pretty cool! Tiring, I admit, but so is your garbage.

Is it all you ever imagined and more?

Actually, it’s better than I imagined. I worked retail previously. Some people enjoy retail, but I am not one of them. It’s nice to not feel my soul is being sucked out with a vacuum cleaner. In short, yeah, it’s pretty good.

Well at least you can see the dentist once a year!

My dentist probably wishes I visited only once a year! In 2019, I was at the dentist’s office no less than five times. I still remember the pain of getting my wisdom teeth removed. To think, I was scared of the root canal. Cakewalk in comparison. And even then, getting them removed isn’t the worst part. It’s the aftermath. *shudder*

Def worth your 4 year degree…

Nothing wrong with four-year degrees, but I went to trade school. There’s nothing I’m interested in studying for four years at the moment.

…pile of Dept…

Do you mean “debt”? Uh, my school debt is $11K, and I can pay it off in two years. Budgeting is very helpful.

…and hating your life going to work every day.

I don’t hate my life or my job. Didn’t I say that? The only thing I hate is waking up early, and that’s not related to my job. Never in my 2 1/2 decades of living have I liked getting up early. I’ve woken up early to do fun things and still hated getting up early. I think it’s safe to say nothing will change that about me.

Anyways, I’m just here to stir the pot…

And I’m here to point and laugh!

…and get you to think outside your very square box for a minute or two.

This is hilarious coming from someone who thinks anyone in a traditional job (read: anyone outside of MLM) hates their life and couldn’t possibly be happy. Before you point fingers, ensure your own house is in order!

Maybe, just maybe the science behind MLM is good and CAN work.

The only successful people in MLM companies are those who got in on the ground floor. Most, if not all of them, are over-saturated now.

I mean, Trump is president…

Don’t remind me.

…and the US military probs made Lyme Disease as a biological weapon…

Yeah…

…so is it that difficult to believe?

Yes, because most salespeople’s goal is to sell, regardless of whether they use or like the products.

I’m gunna go with a no on that one, Becky.

I feel so sorry for all the people named Karen, Rebecca, and any other name that has become a joke thanks to social media.

Quit believing info just because it’s been force fed to you for years.

Says the person who thinks everyone with a four-year degree has a mountain of debt or that seeing the dentist only once a year is a bad thing.

You’re smart, use that thing in your skull… it might get you somewhere.

If you want to stop working for the big man, and the REAL pyramid scheme...

The one that gives me medical, dental, vision, life, critical accident and illness insurances, paid time off, vacation time, unpaid time to use without getting an attendance point, and 401K and Roth? No, I’m good.

…you’re in the right place! I use, share, and sell essential oils on my own time.

A 14-pack of essential oils cost $10 from the store I used to work at. From Young Living, a single bottle costs about $30 at minimum. And some cost as much as over $100. Yes, over a $100 for one bottle of oil. No.

I partner with an amazing MLM I stand by, and I love ittttt.

To each, their own. I stand by my job too because I love what it does for me.

It might seem scary investing in yourself at first…

That’s not scary at all! I did that by finishing school and getting a better job (though school wasn’t necessary, but I don’t regret it), and I’m continuing to do it by focusing on paying off my debts and learning how to cook. Fun thing about my job is I sometimes come across cool or cute stuff I want for myself, so I keep it in mind to order later.

…but your $30,000 of student loans should scare you even more.

Well, my $11K of student loans will be paid off by 2022 or 2023, so I’m not scared at all. I just hate having any debt.

Message me and I’ll help you break up with corporate America.

You haven’t “broken up” with corporate America!

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