What’s It Like…?

To have someone who can be there for you in crisis?

To not have an unbreakable barrier between the two of you?

To not be lonely?

To be a priority to someone?

To reside in the same state as your partner?

To be one of the friends who can see their partner when they want instead of the one friend who can only envy?

To have someone you really can tell anything?

To have someone you can talk to?

To have someone who takes crisis seriously?

To have someone who doesn’t downplay your problems?

To have a relationship that moves only forward and never backward?

To have someone who doesn’t think of life as a Disney fairytale?

To have someone who isn’t sheltered?

To have someone who recognizes others’ struggling?

To have someone who with a realistic view of the world?

To have someone who can show up?

To have someone who… cares?

I thought I knew. Like many things, it seems I don’t. Perhaps it’s a luxury I never will.

The countless weeks – inevitably, countless months – weren’t supposed to last forever, and I thought they were finally gone. But I was very wrong. They are here to stay and it will always be this way. There’s nothing I can do but accept that.

A sincere message for those of you with your partners physically nearby: You are luckier than you will ever know and more fortunate than many can dream of. May you remain close until death separates you… and hopefully, that’s temporary.

If I give up altogether, will I stop being disappointed?

Shame, Audacity, Entitlement

I swear I am not trying to make this a series. I simply couldn’t resist these.

An anti-MLM account I follow posted these. There are two things MLM sellers are good at: shaming, and having zero shame. Right now, many are using the response to the coronavirus pandemic to try to recruit people into their schemes. They’re notorious for using 9/11 and close family members’ deaths, so I can’t say I’m shocked.

These particular posts caught my eye not only for their attempt at shaming and their audacity, but the sheer entitlement! I am no angel, but if I ever speak like this, I give all my loved ones explicit permission to smack me in the head until I regain common sense. Or until I lose consciousness. Whichever occurs first.

At the same time, it’s hilarious. Remember, these are people who claim to run their own business. Even if what they do was legitimate, who would want to work with a business owner who behaves like this?

Clearly, this person has never heard of payment plans. Also, the only company with a phone that expensive is Apple, and even that applies only to their latest phone, the iPhone 11 Pro. The phone’s price is dependent upon how much space you choose. Speaking for myself, my smartphone was $200, but smartphones nowadays can cost as little $30. Technology marches on.

Mentioning Starbucks is common and I’m really eager to know who buys Starbucks every day. No, that’s not sarcasm. I hate coffee, so I guess the equivalent for me would be chocolate, but even I can’t eat chocolate every day. I’d quickly grow sick of the taste. But if someone really is buying a $7 cup of Starbucks every day, I’d imagine that $210 a month isn’t putting a dent in their wallet. In other words, they probably don’t need extra income and aren’t seeking it.

This one could be a good message if it weren’t to promote MLM! There is a lot to unpack in this one.

Healthy groceries ($100) “too expensive”

Dinner date ($100) “reasonable”

Maybe to someone who makes $50K a year after taxes. My boyfriend and I went out many times prior to lockdown. The bill never hit $100. Also, I’m sure most people wish their families ate only $100 a month worth of groceries! I’d love if mine did! I buy $100 worth of groceries and they’re gone in a week. I’d save a lot of money if eating weren’t a necessity.

Therapist ($130) “absurd”

Trip to Target ($130) “great deals!”

Yes, it is absurd some people can’t get mental healthcare because they can’t afford it. To my knowledge, some insurance will cover it, but it can be a fight. That is a shame. As for Target, or any big box store, if you need things like appliances and furniture, getting those things for $130 total really might be a great deal! I found a sturdy dresser with seven drawers for under $100 on Amazon.

Average college class ($1,000) “expensive”

iPhone ($1,000) “a necessity”

Most people use financial aid to afford college if their income is that low. And what those subjects have in common is, as I said above, payment plans. Though I wouldn’t advise it, you can lease an iPhone. If financial aid doesn’t cover the full cost of college, most people can work something out with the school. Note that schools are also a business.

Kid’s summer camp ($180) “too much”

New pair of shoes ($180) “they were on sale”

Hahahahaha!! This is one I’m almost certain would be the other way around. And let me say summer camp isn’t a necessity and there’s nothing wrong with a parent treating themselves to a new pair of shoes. Also, new shoes do not have to cost $180 to be of good quality. I wonder if there is some projection in these examples.

60 minutes of exercise “I wish I had time!”

60 minutes on Instagram “OMG time flies!”

I’ll give a small pass for this one, if only for it being the least ridiculous comparison. However, you can do one hour of exercise and one hour of surfing on Instagram in the same day. Thus, I think this is moot.

60 minutes working your business – “I’m too busy”

60 minutes on Netflix – “Another episode!”

I prefer Hulu and Prime Video (for Pokemon), but Netflix and Disney+ rock too. And again, you can use two hours in a day separately. Well, if work took only an hour.

30 minutes of self-development – “I don’t feel like it.”

30 minutes of a murder mystery podcast – “let’s listen to another

I’m beginning to feel like this person has a weird sense of time. And what does self-development mean in this context? Reading a book about self-love?

Health products ($100) “too expensive”

Starbucks every other day ($100) “I need it”

Exactly what kind of health products are we talking about here? Health products can be a “treat” too. If they were a necessity, they’d probably be prescribed by a doctor.

Like I said, the context of this is what makes it terrible more than the message itself. I don’t totally hate this one, but it ultimately is still shaming people for how they spend their time and money. I could see this one being okay only if someone were constantly complaining, and still not for the sake of promoting MLM.

If someone is prioritizing eating, I think they have their priorities correct.

This one is funny and enraging because the entitlement is so blatant! She really thinks people shouldn’t buy themselves clothing, should customize their social media how she wants, and shouldn’t use products they are familiar with (if someone is subscribed, they likely know what comes in the box) and works well for their skin.

No, in a year, I’m going to still be pointing and laughing.

Last, but sadly, not least:

I can’t stop laughing. She is angry. She calls other people’s lives bad and assumes they’re unhappy because they refused to buy from her. She is really angry people spent their money on what they want instead of buying from her because she begged. And now, they won’t get a free oil set! What a pity!

If she’s in bad debt, that sucks, but that’s ultimately her problem. She can’t rely on other people to pay off her debt for her.

Girl, You’re So Crazy

I don’t know why I’ve grown to love mocking these, but I have. Here’s my most recent “favorite” I’ve come across.

For some reason, the condescending ones are the funniest to me. For people who “run their own business”, they’re sorely lacking in professionalism. A real business owner or salesperson would never talk down to their customer/client base. Why would you insult the people you’re trying to sell to?

(Side note: “MLM positivity” is for “men loving men”, not “multi-level marketing”. Oops!)

I guess I’ve found a new hobby. Let’s play, shall we?

How is life working out for you working for the big man?

Great! Thanks for asking! It’s the open enrollment period, so I just signed up for benefits. Did you know their medical insurance covers 100% of preventive care and 90% of most other medical attention (ambulance, emergency room, etc)? Oh, and I used some of my PTO to cover a shift I couldn’t work. Working full-time is pretty cool! Tiring, I admit, but so is your garbage.

Is it all you ever imagined and more?

Actually, it’s better than I imagined. I worked retail previously. Some people enjoy retail, but I am not one of them. It’s nice to not feel my soul is being sucked out with a vacuum cleaner. In short, yeah, it’s pretty good.

Well at least you can see the dentist once a year!

My dentist probably wishes I visited only once a year! In 2019, I was at the dentist’s office no less than five times. I still remember the pain of getting my wisdom teeth removed. To think, I was scared of the root canal. Cakewalk in comparison. And even then, getting them removed isn’t the worst part. It’s the aftermath. *shudder*

Def worth your 4 year degree…

Nothing wrong with four-year degrees, but I went to trade school. There’s nothing I’m interested in studying for four years at the moment.

…pile of Dept…

Do you mean “debt”? Uh, my school debt is $11K, and I can pay it off in two years. Budgeting is very helpful.

…and hating your life going to work every day.

I don’t hate my life or my job. Didn’t I say that? The only thing I hate is waking up early, and that’s not related to my job. Never in my 2 1/2 decades of living have I liked getting up early. I’ve woken up early to do fun things and still hated getting up early. I think it’s safe to say nothing will change that about me.

Anyways, I’m just here to stir the pot…

And I’m here to point and laugh!

…and get you to think outside your very square box for a minute or two.

This is hilarious coming from someone who thinks anyone in a traditional job (read: anyone outside of MLM) hates their life and couldn’t possibly be happy. Before you point fingers, ensure your own house is in order!

Maybe, just maybe the science behind MLM is good and CAN work.

The only successful people in MLM companies are those who got in on the ground floor. Most, if not all of them, are over-saturated now.

I mean, Trump is president…

Don’t remind me.

…and the US military probs made Lyme Disease as a biological weapon…

Yeah…

…so is it that difficult to believe?

Yes, because most salespeople’s goal is to sell, regardless of whether they use or like the products.

I’m gunna go with a no on that one, Becky.

I feel so sorry for all the people named Karen, Rebecca, and any other name that has become a joke thanks to social media.

Quit believing info just because it’s been force fed to you for years.

Says the person who thinks everyone with a four-year degree has a mountain of debt or that seeing the dentist only once a year is a bad thing.

You’re smart, use that thing in your skull… it might get you somewhere.

If you want to stop working for the big man, and the REAL pyramid scheme...

The one that gives me medical, dental, vision, life, critical accident and illness insurances, paid time off, vacation time, unpaid time to use without getting an attendance point, and 401K and Roth? No, I’m good.

…you’re in the right place! I use, share, and sell essential oils on my own time.

A 14-pack of essential oils cost $10 from the store I used to work at. From Young Living, a single bottle costs about $30 at minimum. And some cost as much as over $100. Yes, over a $100 for one bottle of oil. No.

I partner with an amazing MLM I stand by, and I love ittttt.

To each, their own. I stand by my job too because I love what it does for me.

It might seem scary investing in yourself at first…

That’s not scary at all! I did that by finishing school and getting a better job (though school wasn’t necessary, but I don’t regret it), and I’m continuing to do it by focusing on paying off my debts and learning how to cook. Fun thing about my job is I sometimes come across cool or cute stuff I want for myself, so I keep it in mind to order later.

…but your $30,000 of student loans should scare you even more.

Well, my $11K of student loans will be paid off by 2022 or 2023, so I’m not scared at all. I just hate having any debt.

Message me and I’ll help you break up with corporate America.

You haven’t “broken up” with corporate America!