Let Me Put You On Block

In an anti-MLM Facebook group I’m in, someone shared this image from their sister-in-law’s page.

Or let’s not and I’ll put you on block.

I can’t choose what’s more aggravating here: the absolute lack of self-awareness (telling people not to shame others as they’re shaming them), the irony (same reason), the pure, unfiltered ignorance (not everyone celebrates holidays, or American holidays, and not every job has the same schedule and wages), or the blatant toxicity (it’s healthy to have time away from your family, including your children).

Of course, if the people who post these things had any amount of self-awareness, they likely wouldn’t be in an MLM. I blame myself for expecting that level of competence.

However, my bored self has decided to respond to this. Why? Well, it’s 6am, I can’t get back to sleep, and as I’ve said more than once on this blog, I have an odd enjoyment of making lists. Hey, picking apart MLM posts is a better use of them than shaming people with them.

I can’t place the context of the “Or maybe not” fragment headline, so I’ll skip that.

“Maybe you like your job.”

Indeed, I do! It’s a little crazy, physically demanding, busy almost every minute, has some annoying deadlines, and I lose track of time way too easily. I love it!

“Maybe you like being comfortable.”

I certainly do, as I imagine every person of the population does. Yes, I’m including the arrogant person who created this image, and the many more who unironically shared it. I refuse to believe anyone enjoys being uncertain when, or if, they’ll get paid again. One of the reasons I love my job is I have a set schedule. After being in retail for nearly three full years, I loooooooove it! And if I need more money, the extra hours are there.

I do admit that’s a matter of preference, but unless I need to, I’m never working a job without a set schedule again!

“Maybe you like making someone else rich.”

You’re, at most, a glorified authorized seller. You’re making someone else rich too. Next!

“Maybe you like your 9 – 5 corporate job.”

First and foremost, again, not every job has the same schedule. My regular schedule is 5am to 11am, and before that, it was 5:15am to 9:15am. Why are MLM participants so hooked on 9am to 5pm? Heck, even when I had that schedule with a previous job, it was 9am to 6pm. I know some jobs do have a 9am to 5pm shift, but most I’ve heard are more varied than that.

“Maybe you like waiting years for a raise.”

Again, this is something that varies among jobs. From what I remember of my current job’s handbook, reviews for raises are done every six to twelve months. At my retail job, you got a small raise every year. Perhaps at some jobs, it does take more than a year for a raise, but chances are you’d have moved up or moved elsewhere by then.

“Maybe you like being miserable.”

I’m not miserable. I just went into a small tangent about how I love my job. Nice try.

“Maybe you like missing holidays.”

Once again, not everyone celebrates holidays, and people who celebrate them don’t necessarily celebrate American holidays. I get six paid holidays a year, whether I work on those days or not, and I only celebrate one of them because it’s the same day as my sister’s birthday. The only (American) holidays I really care for are Halloween and Valentine’s Day, which are arguably hallmark holidays.

On another note about holidays, stop stocking Christmas stuff in July! Summer is the very opposite of the Christmas season!

“Maybe you love working the long hours.”

Six hours is not long. I will admit I don’t like working long hours, but I don’t have to. In fact, my job forbids this. No employee is allowed to work more than twelve hours in a day, and unless they’re asked to stay later or agree when asked, staying past your scheduled end time is not allowed. The only exception to this rule is if an employee is still working on an assignment when their shift ends. They must finish that assignment before they clock out. Otherwise, go home!

“Maybe you like having time away from your kids/family.”

Considering it’s detrimental if you don’t, yes, I do enjoy time away from my family. Spending time away from your family does not mean you don’t love them. Last week, I spent a night with my boyfriend. We’d gotten together once every week for the past four. Before I left last week, he asked if we could skip having a sleepover this week because he wanted a night off to himself. I took no offense, and I certainly didn’t assume he was “nicely” trying to get rid of me. He wanted time alone. We are both introverts, so it’s a need I understand. Coincidentally, my period started this week, so it would not have been a good time to visit at all.

As for the rest of my family, I will utterly lose my mind if I don’t have time away from them. They say the more time you spend with someone, the more they get on your nerves. Absolute truth for my family. I love them to pieces, but they drive me insane! I love seeing my boyfriend anywhere – we could walk a graveyard together, and I’d consider it a good time – but there’s a reason his home is a sanctuary from them.

“Maybe you like living paycheck to paycheck.”

Similar to the assumption every job has the same schedule, why the idea every job pays the same wages? My job pays enough that I could live comfortably with a budget. The problem is taxes, and the MLM cults aren’t excluded from obligation to pay them.

“Don’t sit here and hate on other people because they want to have more out of life than what you think they should have.”

Look in the mirror and take your own scolding. Hating on other people for how they live is exactly what your whole statement does. I love how they assume everyone who wants more out of life wants to be a barely compensated salesperson. Personally, I hate sales (and pushy salespeople are why I mostly shop online now), but for those who thrive in it, there are real sales jobs that are worth their talent.

Adding to that, not everyone cares to be rich. If I have the chance, I won’t turn it down, but I won’t consider myself a failure if I’m not worth a million on my deathbed. My goal in life is to enjoy my time on this earth with my loved ones, live happily with my boyfriend, and if possible, meet him again after death so we can truly be together for eternity. If reincarnation with all the knowledge of my current life were possible, I’d try to meet him earlier.

Money undoubtedly makes life easier, but I think it’s often forgotten there are things money cannot buy. Some time ago, I met a woman whose husband has terminal cancer. When he died, his life insurance would net her about a million dollars. She said she’d prefer to have her husband. My heart broke for her. Money cannot give what a person can, and it is a finite source. You can run out. Love can be finite too, but it doesn’t have to be and there’s no limit to how many people one person can love. Hearts have enough room for everyone you want.

And now, I will step off my soapbox.

“It’s also okay to reach out and make the steps to live a happier life.”

Why is MLM supposedly the steps to living a happier life? What about getting a better job, finding another partner, learning a new skill, moving to a new place, or starting to take care of yourself?

“That’s why I’m here. Let’s talk.”

Let’s not, and not pretend we did.

Bonus!

“When you buy from direct sales, you’re helping a mom afford ballet classes.”

I’m doing the same when I buy from the store the mom is a cashier at. You know, those employees you spent all this time shaming? They are paid for their work from the money the store makes.

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