I hate to say it, but I really do miss Emmi.
That’s why I haven’t posted much. I’m not going to call him, but I admit there’s not a day that’s gone by when I consider going back on what I said.
It’s more that I miss talking to him, really. Sex-obsessed or not, he was genuinely a nice person and I really liked talking to him. He listened to me and he did understand some of my troubles. He even comforted me a few nights when I was struggling and thinking of hurting myself. It was nice to have someone I could vent to and basically respond with “I get it” instead of some lecture about how it gets better. Not that I don’t appreciate the latter, but it does get annoying at times.
I’m not horribly upset, but I guess the reason I wish I could go back is that sex was literally the only issue.
But I’m probably seeing something that’s not there. For all I know, there may have been an issue besides sex and I’m probably fantasizing too much. As much as it kills me to admit it, I still like him.
*sigh* Is this going to happen with any person I may become interested in? I probably sounded like a hormone-addled teenager, but I don’t think I can do this so many times. It hurts. Not terribly, not even awfully, but it does.