Kaye's Days

I’ve ranted before about how I hate that my family seems to view me more as a dress-up doll than a sentient person. I do like to dress up every so often, but my idea of dressing up is simply wearing a little more jewelry than usual or intentionally trying to look cute rather than merely be casual.

While I hate it for my family, I will sometimes do it for my friends. I think it’s because they are not obsessed with how I look. They care more about me showing up than looking like a doll. They might notice and mention it, but they won’t say I should wear a certain thing more often or question me on why I don’t dress that particular way all the time.

That’s the way I feel about Emmi (my name for him on this site; yes, I know it’s a female one). Maybe it’s too early to be assuming things since I’ve yet to meet him, but like my friends, he’s shown more respect than most of my family members ever have. He isn’t obsessed with my appearance. In fact, when I once offered to show him that I’d gotten my hair done, he didn’t really care to see it because he was having a bad day. Last night, we were talking and I sent him an image of me. He had one thing to say about it: Cute. That’s it. Nothing more, and I liked that.

I sincerely want to dress up to meet him. Not the whole nine yards as if I’m going on a date, but I want to dress in either flowers or glittery clothes, wear a lot of jewelry, have accessories in my hair, and even have my nails painted, sport some lip gloss, and wear a short pair of heels. He might care, or he may not, and if it’s the latter, that will really make me comfortable around him. Either reaction will please me if he remains un-obsessed and still respectful as he is.