Mountain View

Yesterday, I went hiking with my clinician and a few students from the therapy program. We went to the Delaware Water Gap in Pennsylvania. It was hard and exhausting, but since I came, I wasn’t leaving without making it to the top. I did and got pictures of the view. It was stunning! Worth the hike, and going down was easier than going up. I fell three times, but no harm done. That said, while I don’t regret the trip, I would not do it again.

College plans aren’t all that changed…

When I was forced out of my mother’s custody in August 2010, I’d always planned on coming back after I turned 18. I postponed it until I graduated high school because I didn’t want to have to change the information in the system (more of a pain than it sounds, trust me). But now, it seems like the tides have turned and I’m going to be right back at my grandfather’s house.

Mom was happy about me moving back in. She told everyone her daughter was finally coming home. I heard her tell people half the time! Apparently, however, that happiness was short-lived. My mother has become poisonous and I honestly think she’s losing her mind. I do my best to put up with it because she’s not like this all the time, but she apologizes just to do it again later. She’s made it clear she doesn’t love me and favors my sister. I still remember how she would deny that when I was pointed it out as a kid. Nice to have the confirmation, I guess, but it hardly means anything when I knew all along.

I don’t know how much longer I can tolerate her. The insane accusations (and I do mean insane!) out of nowhere, blaming me for her troubles, doing just about anything to make my life harder. She really doesn’t care what happened to me, even if it was death! And I’m not exaggerating. She really doesn’t.

I know of the saying “an eye for an eye makes the whole world go blind”, but two can play at this game. In about a half hour, I’m heading out to cancel the layaway we made together. She can have her darn money back and I’ll take mine and get what I want myself! I still question why she even had me if she was basically going to toss me aside like dirt after a certain age.

But you know what? It’s fine. I’m not the only one who’s dealt with a bad parent and the friends of mine who have are turning out to be alright. One got lucky, but I’m not envious. I’m very happy for her.

The stupid thing in all of this? I have my cell phone turned off and you can bet my mother will be calling me frequently and getting mad at me not answering. She has a bad habit of “forgetting” the awful things she does. Well, just like she apparently doesn’t forget what people do to her, I don’t forget what people do to me. And yes, I know I’m not perfect and I do some bad things too, but nothing near what she accuses me of. The worst thing I probably do is…ignore her when she becomes mean, come to think of it.

I’m feeling the burn…

I don’t think it’s necessary to repost the entire post here, but on my main Tumblr blog, I wrote about how college life is going so far. The answer is…neutral. I wanted to share it here on this blog. Read it on Spontaneity

http://spontaneouschatter.tumblr.com/post/64778196672/i-got-burned

…or on Living My Life, my recovery blog.

http://viva-la-mia-vita.tumblr.com/post/64790946290/i-got-burned

No Wish, Just Pleasure

Nothing to wish for this week either, so I’ll share another image from my Sims 3 game.

A rainbow

Mundane Monday: Literacy

Today, I’m going to express a little appreciation for an ability I couldn’t live without. Being literate.

Sailor Mercury

Several months ago, I read an article that stated 80% of New York high school graduates were illiterate and needed to be retaught how to read, write, and do basic math. I may not be the best reader or writer, and I sure as heck am no mathematician, but I couldn’t imagine being unable to read and write. How can someone even graduate without those abilities? I know I sound judgmental, but I’m genuinely curious.

Being literate is what allows me to run this blog, to enjoy online friendships, to select my favorite games, to browse Tumblr and YouTube, and the list goes on and on. It’s something I take for granted, but knowing there are countries where it’s basically a crime for a female person to be educated, I know I’m incredibly lucky to have been born and raised in a country like the United States.