Kaye's Days

I have a confession: I signed up for a dating site.

The account is at least a year old. I did it out of simple curiosity. I explored the site, played around with the matching tools, filled up my profile, answered personality questions, and all. I left the account alone and then returned to it over the summer. I really didn’t think anyone would contact me because I felt I wasn’t interesting or attractive. There were so many better-looking women than me.

Boy, was I wrong.

So far, I’ve had at least ten people contact me, only two of which are female (my sexuality is listed as bisexual, not straight). I already mentioned how I unwisely met up with one guy twice my age. He was one of many.  Most of the guys are friendly, but some put me at a distance with how they instantly want to meet up. Then again, maybe that’s how these sites are supposed to work. You meet someone, they respond, and you arrange a day to meet up and hang out.

I’ve especially been confused by the number of guys several years older than me who express interest. Compared to the number of guys close to my age, it’s been few, but I still cannot wrap my head around it and I probably don’t want to. I’m beginning to wonder if my age is the deciding factor in these guys contacting me. I’ve started to just leave these guys hanging because I don’t want to get into a lengthy explanation. Really, I don’t want to meet up with anybody. But I suppose that makes being on a dating site pointless.

Actually, it’s more that I don’t want to meet up with someone right away. I prefer to talk for a few weeks before arranging to meet up. That feels safer than meeting up a mere seven days after a chat.

Maybe it’s my lack of experience. Maybe I should wait a few more years. Maybe I’m just too slow. Maybe I simply don’t get it.

It’s kind of funny when I think about it. When I was getting bullied in school, I wished guys would fawn over me and call me pretty. I wasn’t interested in dating them. I just wanted to hear it. Now that I’m getting hit and do have guys flattering and wanting to meet up, I’m wary and a turtle. Interesting how that works. I genuinely do appreciate the compliments, but it seems my “pretty face”, as well as my age, is potentially getting me into trouble.