True Colors

No MM segment today because I’m in a bad mood.

It’s interesting that when someone says “I’m okay with whatever you want to do”, they really mean “I’m only okay with whatever you want as long as I approve.” In other words, they’re lying.

My grandfather knows I’m moving and he is not happy about it. His first reaction to the news was to get drunk. Then, he told my uncle to try to convince me to stay. Of course, my uncle didn’t. He takes my grandfather about as seriously as I do: not at all.

Yesterday, he insulted to me (to my mother) by saying he doesn’t see how I could hold a job when I can’t even keep my room clean. Besides that this is a blatant lie, this insult came about when I told him I was taking a year off school because I wanted to work. Why my mom told him I was taking a gap year is beyond me, but most of my family members are gossips to begin with. Anyway, my answer to his question of where I want to work was “Anywhere”. Rather than realize I meant temporarily, he decided I would have a mentality of working anywhere for the rest of my life and proceeded to go into a rant about a person cannot support themselves working at McDonald’s. Note that I did not say a specific place. He assumed this. Idiot.

He also believes my mother talked me into moving back in with her, not attending school and is teaching me to live off the system. All are false, but, of course, he can’t imagine I could make any decision on my own because I’m supposed to be too stupid to be able to make my own choices.

My uncle told me today that my grandfather will not allow me to take my laptop. Do I care? No. I can back up all of my files and wipe the entire hard drive out. Not to mention he doesn’t even know how use a computer. My uncle does, but he’s unable to use mine. So, basically, my laptop would just sit and collect dust. Fine by me. That’s $427 out of his pocket going to waste, not mine.

With all of the things he has done, my grandfather has no business telling someone else how to live their life. He’s angry because I’m capable of deciding things for myself and I don’t need or want his approval. He cannot stop me from moving out and he knows it. He doesn’t want me to leave, yet he’s giving me every reason I should.

I have come to the conclusion that my grandfather will never respect me as an intelligent individual capable of making choices and following her own path. And you know what? I’m okay with that. He is close-minded and I cannot do anything about that. I have better things to do than fight for the approval of someone who clearly does not respect me as a person. I don’t plan on maintaining contact with him after I move out.

I don’t think I’ve ever spoken about myself this way before, but I don’t deserve to be treated this way. Nobody does.

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