Kaye's Days

Sometimes, less is more. Sometimes, bigger is better. The latter applies here because when I say “bigger”, I mean “adult”.

Alright, I guess I’m not part of the adult world yet. I’m still a dependent, still in high school, have never had a job and don’t have to pay for my basic needs. I hate that.

No one could pay me to return to childhood. It’s not even the fact that my childhood sucked. It’s that I don’t like being small, unless it’s in regards to my weight. Sure, I still have people who think I’m stupid because of my age, but the difference is now, I can tell those people to bug off or curse them out if they get on my nerves. I don’t have to just take it. I can actually argue with somebody and call them out on their words. Or I can entirely ignore them.

I can also protect myself, to an extent. Of course, I’m far from being the biggest person out there, but I’m not so small that anyone is free to smack me around or hit me with objects anymore (you can probably guess what I’m referring to). And if someone does, I can either fight back or file assault charges against them. Heck, going by the incident I had with that teacher, I could file charges for somebody simply touching me.

My favorite thing about being an adult has more to do with the actual age than size. It’s the freedom that comes with that stage. Or I guess the eventual freedom in my case. I confess I’m a little obsessed with that and am probably fantasizing a little, but it’s hard not to since I’ve never had total control of anything. Makes me think of how when I was a child and used to think about kids, I only wanted them to control and boss around. Bad.

Speaking of which, however, I also like how I have the ability to be empathetic now. Being poor means “struggling to provide basic needs to yourself or others” instead of “not being able to afford a toy”. Without that ability, I wouldn’t have the friends I do now and while most friendships do change over the years, it still doesn’t change that I probably wouldn’t have any friends in the first place if I was still incapable of empathy.

However, all of this said…

Although, I never liked Kermit much. Just didn’t watch him.