Kaye's Days

I think it’s official: I have problems.

According to the “college” tag on my blog, I’ve made five posts about my college plans, not counting the rant when I was having a bad day that I made on February 4th. Not only is this another post about college, but guess what I’m thinking now. Here’s a hint: check the title.

That’s right. Now, I’m thinking of postponing going to college. Specifically, holding off for a year.

It is kind of crazy. Why would I run myself crazy to three different campuses and fret about having to come up with $300 by May 1 if I’m going to postpone it until I’m 20? What’s the point of all this stress? Well, there are a few reasons.

• My grandfather. I’ve ranted about him several times. He’s a controlling prick who thinks he knows everything, despite that he hasn’t the slightest idea how to help me and I don’t want his help anyway. I cannot tolerate him and focus on any amount of schoolwork at the same time. I just can’t. Even if I’ll be gone by then, a month is not enough to recover from his nonsense.
• Work/Finance. I cannot work while I’m here, but I really need to find a job. That will be a lot easier to do once I move in with Mom, but it’ll take longer than a month. Coming up with $300 in 3 months may be doable, but it’s still pushing it and I’d rather just save up over time. Not to mention, I can save up for commuting and get my license too.
• Stress. Yes, I know I’m going to be under stress in college, but I have to be realistic. Getting rid of one source of stress only to immediately come under another is not good. I know some people can handle it, but I can’t. I am not stable and if things get any worse, I will snap. It will be better if I take some time and calm down. Then, I can enter college with a healthier mind.
• Medical reasons. I have not been to a doctor in about two years or so and it’s not by my own choice. I have to see the eye doctor and have my eyeglasses replaced, I have to go see the dentist and I probably have to go to the gynecologist again. Better to get all of that out of the way before college, especially the eyeglasses.
• Studying. I did poorly on the math part of the college’s entrance exam. If I can find out what kind of math they do, I can study and have a chance at doing better when I actually attend. It’ll also be easier to study for my driver’s license and maybe a few other things. Then, I’m not mixing up everything.

Of course, I have to talk to my mom about this since she’s the one who’ll be housing my behind. I’m pretty sure she won’t mind because it’s not like I just want to lay around the house all day. Maybe I can finally learn to cook too.

I’m going to send an email to the director of the campus I chose and ask how long they’ll hold my application. I absolutely will attend college, but not while I’m unhealthy. Trying to rush everything is just a recipe for disaster in the making.