Safety versus Sanity

My grandfather has really been irking my nerves. In the last 72 hours, he has royally ticked me off. I won’t get into why or what happened, but it’s as ridiculous as every other time.

I’ve been contemplating whether or not to move back in with my mother. The problem is it’s a question what I value more: my safety or my sanity.

My mother lives in a bad area of town. She would love for me to come back, but the same day she said this, she also told me someone got shot in or near that area. I don’t have any fear of that since I don’t hang on the streets at night, but that doesn’t mean I want to hear that kind of story every week. Even my uncle, who knows almost every block in town, has said that area is bad. I don’t think sanity will do me any good if my safety is in jeopardy.

The block I currently live on is quiet. Nothing happens here except the usual loud neighbors, which isn’t much of a bother because they’re not loud for long. In the two years I’ve lived here, I have never heard of a crime happening.

After Christmas, I’m going to look for a job and start saving to rent an apartment of my own. Until then, I’m stuck between two potentially bad households, one bad for my mind and the other bad for my body. It’s hard to stick it out and put up with my grandfather until at least graduation, but I may not have a choice. Sure, I can get away for a while, but I still have to come back and that’s the problem.

If I can find a job before I graduate, which I’m aiming to do, I might put off moving in with my mom until July. The reason I put it off so long in the first place is that I hate having to move my stuff, but the insanity is getting to me.

In the meantime, I have my friends to keep me sane and on my feet. One of my friends, in fact, is going through something similar. She wants to get away from where she is. There’s something she said that really appeals to me:

Waiting it out is hard.

Yes, it is. Waiting it out is the hardest part.