I Can’t Un-see

Back in May, I wrote about an incident that happened between me and a teacher during my first year at my second high school. More so, I wrote about how I couldn’t let the incident go.

It hasn’t gotten better. Not only am I still angry over it, but I dread the fact that I’m even in the same building as this lady. I hate passing her in the hall, I hate when I mistakenly look at her, I hate hearing her name, I hate just thinking about her.

I have never felt so much rage, anger and hatred toward anybody. The second this lady comes within my sight, all those feelings I felt from back in June 2011 flare up again as if it was happening all over again within that tiny frame of time it takes for me to pass her.

I have much bigger concerns than her. With everything I have to worry about, she shouldn’t be on my mind at all. I should’ve forgotten about her entirely by now, especially since I liked my English teachers from last year so much and it was great. So why is it every single school day, I find myself actively trying to avoid her, secretly hoping she’s not around the next corner and wanting to fall into a black hole when it turns out she is?